


The Last Hope

by reylly_obiwan



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VIII, The Last Jedi, star wars the last jedi
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force-Sensitive Leia Organa, Movie: Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Original Character(s), Star Wars: The Last Jedi Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-02-23 16:05:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 31,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13193625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reylly_obiwan/pseuds/reylly_obiwan
Summary: Takes place before the events of The Last Jedi but contains some spoilers and characters from the movie. A story about Luke Skywalker's daughter Julian--my character--who Leia believes is the only way to get Luke to come back. Julian and Rey take a journey together to find Luke while Poe, Leia, Finn, and Rose hold down the fort at the rebel base.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Credits to Johnny Cash, Lin-Manuel Miranda, and Claude-Michel Schönberg for the various lyrics used throughout.

Rey slowly awoke from sleeping as she felt a presence in front of her. She opened her eyes to see Julian standing in her doorway.

“Leia wants to talk to you.” she said curtly. Rey didn’t have time and wasn’t awake enough to respond before Julian walked away. She rolled onto her back and yawned. The last few days had been the weirdest series of events she had ever experienced. From the moment she met BB-8 and Finn she knew her life was going to change. She never expected it would lead to her fighting for her life on Starkiller base and becoming part of the resistance. 

After Chewie had rescued her and Finn, they headed back to the rebel base. She had assumed Kylo-Ren was dead, but apparently he survived and now the First Order was as dangerous as ever. She had met a lot of people form the rebellion over the last few days. Poe, the slightly insane pilot who had broken Finn out of the First Order. Leia, who she had barely met before she arrived on the base but had gotten to know very well since. And Julian. The daughter of Luke Skywalker. A kid a few years younger than herself that Luke had abandoned when he disappeared to Ahch-To after Kylo-Ren’s betrayal. She seemed pretty sullen and annoyed when Rey met her, but to be fair, she had every reason to be that way. 

Rey shook herself out of her trance and stood up. She groggily walked over to the sink and washed her face, wishing she could have slept longer. She was somehow still exhausted from the events of the last few days. She felt depleted of energy ever since the lightsaber battle. Not to mention the feelings inside of her that had awakened after she picked up that weapon. She tried her best to ignore them and she left her room to head for the command center. When she walked in, she saw Leia hunched over the center console with a few other leaders around her. Poe was leaning against a railing to the side with BB-8 rolling around next to him. Julian was sitting on top of the railing next to Poe. Poe smiled when Rey came in and gave her a wave. She gave a small wave back and Leia turned around to face her.    
“Hi Rey. We’d like to talk to you.” 

Rey swallowed nervously and slowly approached the console.

“Okay.” she answered.

“You too, Julian.” Leia added. Julian said nothing but slid off the railing and stood next to Rey. 

Leia took a deep breath and looked back and forth between the two of them.    
“We think you two should be the ones to go get Luke. We’ve all talked it over and we agree that you two together are our best shot.”   
“What?!” Julian answered. “Me? Why the hell would I go? He doesn’t want to see me. You know that.” she said coldly.

“Of course he wants to see you.” Leia answered.

“Really? He already abandoned me once. Why would he give a shit if I showed up and asked him to come back now?”

“Watch your tone.” Leia responded instantly. She didn’t take attitude from anyone, even her own niece. 

Poe walked up and placed a hand on Julian’s shoulder. 

“Calm down, Jules. Step back a second and think about this. Leia knows your dad better than anyone.”

“I’m not arguing  _ that _ , I’m saying that me showing up isn’t going to do anything to bring him back. I don’t mean anything to him.”   
“Do you honestly think that’s true?” Leia asked. “You know that Luke didn’t just leave. You know what happened. You  _ know _ how devastated he was. If he saw you, it might bring back some semblance of hope for him.”

Julian shrugged Poe’s hand off her shoulder and walked out of the room without saying another word. 

“Should I?” Poe gestured toward the doorway.

“No. Leave her. She needs to calm down a bit.” Leia answered. She turned back to face Rey. “Now, Rey. What do you think about this?”   
“I’ll do it.” Rey answered. “But if I may ask, why me?” Her voice sounded more childish than she meant it to and cleared her throat to sound less scared. 

“The force is strong with you, Rey. Luke will feel that. He’ll sense the good in you and want to help teach you. I think it’ll make him believe in the power of good again. Hopefully inspire him to come back.” 

Rey bit her lip and thought about the feelings that had awakened inside of her. She knew Leia was right, she needed help. She’d never felt so unlike herself. 

“Okay. I’ll go.” Rey said. She saw a smile of relief on Leia’s face and smiled back hopefully. 

Poe gave her a clap on the back and everyone started to smile and speak words of encouragement. Rey didn’t understand what was happening inside of her, but she knew that she had at least found a home in the rebellion. 

“You may go Rey, we’ll talk to you when we figure out a plan. I need to go talk some sense into my niece first.” Leia said. Rey nodded and left the room, unsure of what she was feeling. Excitement? Maybe, but definitely mixed in with a good amount of fear. 

After Rey was gone, Leia excused the rest of the room and took a seat. She put her head in her hands and took a deep breath. She looked up after hearing a rustle and jumped when she saw Poe standing in front of her. She assumed everyone had left but she shouldn’t have been surprised to see Poe still there.

“General.” he stated.

“What is it Poe?” 

“I think I should go talk to Julian. She listens to me. Sometimes.”   
Leia raised her eyebrows as if to challenge his statement but said nothing.    
“I can try to convince her, General. She-”   
“No, Poe.” Leia interrupted. “I appreciate it, but I think this is a family matter. She might not even listen to me.”    
“You can convince her. She just has a temper, you know that. She’ll come around.”

“I’m afraid it’s more complex than her temper this time, Poe. Anything about her dad really upsets her. I know you know her well, but you don’t know how different she was before Luke left. She was gentle, patient, peaceful. She was a lot like Luke. She still  _ is  _ a lot like Luke. But she’s never been the same since he left.”

Poe sighed and took a seat next to the General.    
“You need to talk to her.” he said.

“I need to talk to her.” Leia answered. “And we haven’t got any time to wait around.”


	2. Chapter 2

After a few minutes of walking around, Leia spotted Julian sitting on the perimeter fence, her feet dangling over the nearby pond. She approached her niece slowly and saw her flinch a little when she sensed her coming. Julian had always had incredible senses and reflexes, like Luke. Leia walked up to the fence and rested her hands down on it. 

“I know you think this won’t work.” Leia stated.

“It won’t.” Julian answered. 

“Come on off that fence and talk to me, Julian. I’m too old to climb up there.” Julian hopped off and stood face to face with Leia.

“We don’t have any other choice right now. This is a desperate time for the rebellion. Without your dad, I don’t know what else we can do. I don’t know how much longer we can hide from them.”   
“Why hide? Why aren’t we fighting back?”   
“You know our army is no match for theirs. It would be a waste of resources and people.”   
“But why can’t we-”

“Julian. There is  _ nothing _ else we can do. I have been working tirelessly for the last few weeks as the First Order’s threats have gotten worse. I really thought that Rey and Poe and Finn were going to end this. Somehow, I foolishly thought it might be that easy. I don’t know anything else that we can do. But Luke might. Luke is our last hope. Please, Julian. I wouldn’t ask you if I believed anything else would work.”   
“Leia I...it’s not that you asked me that I’m upset. I would do anything for you. I just don’t believe this could work. He left for a reason, Leia. He didn’t care enough about the rebellion to stick around then. He won’t come back now.” 

“How many times have we talked about this? Over the last few  _ years _ , how many times have we talked about this? I know it still feels to you like he left without a good reason, but neither of us can imagine how horrible he must’ve felt about Ben. He felt like he let all of us down, like he couldn’t even face us because he was so ashamed.”

“You’re too forgiving of him.” Julian answered after a few seconds.

“Maybe I am. But I’ll tell you, Julian, I need to be. For all of us, I need to be. We’ve all done plenty of things that need forgiveness. And the rest of you can be way too harsh.”   
Julian didn’t answer, but Leia could tell she was caving. 

“Do it for me, Julian. Please.”

“Okay. But only for you. I still don’t think it’s going to work.” she answered quietly. “And I won’t know what to say to him.” 

“You will. He’s your father. You’ll know exactly what to do, I promise you.” Julian nodded reluctantly. “And one more thing.” Leia added.

“What?”   
“Lay off of Rey a little! I see you giving her the cold shoulder. She’s a nice girl.”

“She’s alright.”   
“Don’t be a jerk! You’re going to have to talk to her on your trip so you might as well start now, hm?”   
“Okay.” Julian said with a sigh. 

“Okay. Let’s head back. I’m going to talk to everyone and figure out the plan. Quickly.” Julian nodded again and started walking.

“Hey.” Leia said as she gently grabbed her arm. “You can do this. I’ve seen you pull off far worse.”

“Yeah.” Julian answered. There was a slight tone of defeat in her voice but Leia knew she wasn’t too resigned to try. They walked together back to the base and Leia wished she could take her niece’s pain away. For years she had wished that. They said goodbye at the command center as Leia had to talk things over with the others. Julian tried to make it back to her chambers without running into anyone but without success. She groaned internally as she turned a corner and saw Poe. She couldn’t deal with his intensity right now.    
“Jules!” he yelled from the other side of the hallway. “You’re just the person I wanted to find!” Julian said nothing as she waited for Poe to walk up to her. “Did Leia talk to you?” he asked as he approached.    
“Yeah.”   
“Yeah? What did you guys decide?” 

“I’m gonna go.” 

Poe leaned down a little and put his hand on Julian’s shoulder. “Hey, Jules, you’re doing the right thing.” Julian wondered if the fire in his eyes ever stopped burning so intensely. He was such a passionate person it was hard not to share in his passion a little bit. 

“Thanks Poe.” She said it with a small smile and he grinned. 

“Let’s get ready. You guys gotta go!” He never slowed down, either. He was like a fire you just couldn’t put out. Julian reluctantly followed Poe back to the command center where Leia was standing and talking to Admiral Ackbar. 

“Chewie is waiting on the Falcon.” Leia said to her as she walked in. 

“Now, then?” Julian asked. “What about Rey?” 

“She’s on her way there. Pack your bag and then head down. We’ll be waiting there for you.” There was a sternness in her voice matched by an equal amount of kindness. 

“Yes ma’am.” Julian answered and turned right back around to walk out the door. She accepted her fate at this point and resigned herself to getting the job done. Poe waited until she was gone before turning to face the General.

“What’s the plan, General?”    
“You just heard it. I’m sending the two of them on the Falcon with Chewie. The rest will be up to them.”   
“Did you tell them what they should say?”   
“No. Julian will know what to say. I believe that.”   
“Okay.” Poe nodded his head aggressively. “Sounds good. Sounds good. In the meantime, can we discuss an attack plan?”   
  
***

 

Julian stood just behind a post where no one could see her and watched the somewhat chaotic scene around her. Her bag was slung over her shoulder, packed randomly and haphazardly, due to the sudden time constraints. She woke up this morning thinking nothing else bizarre could possibly happen and now she was about to be on her way to face a man she thought she would never see again. A man she didn’t particularly  _ want  _ to ever see again. If it didn’t mean so much to Leia, she never would’ve said yes. But, alas. She owed her life to Leia and if she had to face her father for her then so be it. She stepped out from behind the pole and saw Leia staring her down from a hundred feet away. There were people scrambling all around her, loading up the ship, but she didn’t break eye contact. Leia shook her head slowly with a small smile on her face. She reached out a hand and motioned for her to come over. 

Julian thought she had made peace with what she was about to do but she suddenly felt like she was going to throw up and pass out at the same time. She leaned against the pole behind her and dropped her eyes. She couldn’t look up any longer and she slowly slid down to the ground as she felt her body shaking in fear. It was only a few seconds before Leia saw what was going on and started walking over to her. She reached out through the force and quickly felt fear radiating from her niece. She saw Julian’s arms crossed on her knees, head down, visibly shaking. She was just a child, really, but she’d already lived a lifetime in her sixteen years. Leia wished with an ache in her heart that she could’ve lived a normal childhood. She remembered those few precious years when there was balance. In the force, in the galaxy, in all of their lives. When her and Ben were adorable little kids who played together and Luke brought Julian over to her and Han’s house for family dinners. Those few years were sacred memories of what could’ve been.

Leia slowly knelt down next to her and gently reached a hand out to stroke her hair. She lifted her head and Leia saw that she wasn’t crying, in fact, her face looked completely stoic. Leia looked at her intently and waited for her to speak.    
“I thought I could do it. I really did. But I can’t. I  _ can’t _ face him, Leia.”

“Why?”   
“I don’t know. I don’t know. I just-”   
“Breathe. Settle your feelings.”   
“I can’t do it. Too much has happened these last few days. I don’t know what to do. You said I would know when I see him but I won’t! I never thought I would see him again. I’m not ready.”   
“So what if you’re not ready? I’ve seen you take on challenges far harder with less warning, hm?”   
“This is different. I don’t know how to talk to him. I can’t begin to imagine what I would say.”   
“What do I always say to you when you tell me you don’t know how to do something?”   
Julian sighed before answering. “The best of warriors learn from themselves.”

“That’s right. And you’re the best warrior I know.”   
Julian’s shaking ceased and she started to breathe steadily again.

“Now, stand up.” Leia said as she stood herself. When she was eye-level with Julian she wrapped her arms around her and hugged her tight. 

“No matter what happens, you will rise above it and come out stronger.”   
“It might not be the outcome you want.”   
“Maybe not. If not, we’ll find a new outcome. We always do. But we never will if we don’t get started, okay? Be strong, my girl.” Julian felt her heart flutter when Leia said that. She only called her that on very rare occasions, and she knew that when she said it she really meant it. With her newfound courage, Julian walked toward the ship alongside her aunt. Poe grabbed her before she could board and gave her a big hug.    
“Jules, you come back  _ alive _ , you hear me?” They always said this to each other before one of them went on a mission.    
“I will.”   
“Be careful. Don’t anything crazy, you hear me?”   
“I won’t.”   
“If you do I’m going to be waiting here, ready to kick your ass. Understood?”   
“Okay, Poe!”

“Promise?”   
“Promise.”

“Good. Go ahead, then.” he exhaled nervously and watched Julian until she disappeared onto the ship. Leia walked up next to him and he looked down at her in anticipation. 

“They’ll be fine, right General?”

“Yes, Poe. Stop worrying.”   
“You know she gets a little wild on her own. I can’t help but worry.”   
“She’s not on her own, Poe. Now hush. Worrying isn’t a productive use of your time.” They watched the Falcon take off and Poe tried to get rid of the anxious feeling in his gut. He knew the General could sense it. 

Once the ship was too far in the sky to see, Leia turned to face Poe.    
“Let’s talk attack plans. Show me what you’ve got, Commander.”


	3. Chapter 3

Being on the Falcon again brought back so many memories for Julian. It had been years she’d been on it last. She used to fly on it all the time with her uncle when she was a kid. He’s actually the one that taught her how to fly, not her dad, despite what a great pilot he was. Leia told her that when she was a little kid she was so entranced by the ship that she would sneak on when no one was looking and hide in there, just playing with the controls. She believed it. Flying had always been a passion of hers. When she got older, she and Han would go on trips together. She got along so well with him despite the fact that he didn’t really like anybody. He definitely didn’t mind her. 

The last time she had been on the Falcon was four years ago on an incident she had never mentioned to Leia or anyone else. It was pretty soon after Han had walked out on the Rebellion but before he lost the ship. Julian was out gambling and getting into trouble on some scuzzy cantina in Mos Eisley because she was trying to blow off steam. She wasn’t supposed to be there, of course, but she had lied her way into a fake mission and snuck away. She remembered how rebellious she felt because it seemed like the world was against her. She was about to get into some deep shit with an Advozse after losing her sixth round of Compmatch and she realized she didn’t have a way out of paying up. The different creatures started to yell and hassle her about her debts when she suddenly felt the back of her jacket being pulled up and she was lifted to her feet. Before she could turn around and see who was grabbing her, she heard “You’ll forget these debts and I won’t come back and personally feed each of you to the sarlacc pit.” The aliens looked utterly terrified and scattered away instantly. The thing that had scared them was the voice of her uncle, Han Solo, a man she hadn’t seen since the days after her father left and Ben had turned. He was there gambling, too, of course. 

He had dragged her by the neck and brought her on board the Falcon before yelling his head off for a good hour at her. He warned her that if he ever caught her at a place like this again she would be added to the list of people getting fed to the sarlacc. He sent her back to her ship without so much as a hug or kiss goodbye. He didn’t even bother to check up on her, Leia, the Rebellion. 

And that was the last time she’d ever seen him. The last time she ever  _ would _ see him. It still bothered her to this day, and it had completely been tearing her up since he died. 

She walked around the ship for a while, checking things out, before she finally went into the cockpit. She saw Han’s golden dice hanging up and she couldn’t help but chuckle a little. God, she missed that man. She decided that she needed to take Leia’s advice and try to talk to Rey if this trip was going to work. 

“Hey Rey, can I talk to you for a sec?” she asked. Rey looked pleasantly surprised as she turned around.

“Sure.” she said warmly, and got up to follow Julian to the main hold.

“Chewie, you got this covered?” Julian asked.

“Aaaarrgghh.” Chewie answered. 

Once they were seated on the bench Julian started to talk.

“So listen...I know I’ve been kind of a jerk to you since you got here and I just want to apologize for that. It’s been a really crazy few days and I know that’s not an excuse but I promise you I’m not that much of a jerk usually.”   
“Oh.” Rey answered, sounding confused. “I mean, I didn’t think you were being a jerk, but it’s okay all the same.” 

“Okay cool. I thought maybe we could talk some and get to know each other or something. If you want.”   
“Sure!” Rey’s smile matched her genuine tone and Julian smiled back. 

“Okay, umm, I’ll go first I guess. You know I’m Luke’s daughter obviously. My mom’s name was Aria Kase but she died when I was really young. Freak accident. Umm, yeah. I’ve been with the Rebellion since the First Order started out. Ben--sorry--Kylo-Ren is my cousin, we used to be really close. We grew up together. My dad trained me some so I’m like kind of a jedi I guess but not really. And I’m a pretty good pilot, unless you ask Poe. So that’s pretty much me. Any questions?”   
“Yeah. A lot, actually. What kind of stuff can you do as a jedi? And what does it mean to be kind of a jedi? What makes you a full jedi?”   
“Well, this is my lightsaber.” Julian unhooked it from her belt and ignited it. 

“It looks like Luke’s.” Rey said in awe of the blue light. 

“Luke’s? Luke’s is green. I guess they kind of look alike.”   
“Green? Isn’t this Luke’s?” Rey asked, and pulled out the saber inside her satchel.

“Ohh, I see. Yeah. That was his for a little while. But that actually belonged to my grandfather first.”   
“Darth Vader?” Rey whispered.

“Yeah. But when he was good.”   
“Okay.” Rey tried to process this information and absentmindedly put the saber back in her pack.

“But anyway,” Julian continued. “Being a jedi means a lot of things. It’s mostly mentally significant. Like a lifestyle or a religion. But it also means that in battle, we use the force and protect the light side of it.”   
“How do you use the force?”   
“I don’t know how to explain it. It’s just inside of you. It’s everywhere. It’s in all of us and around everything we see and touch and feel. It’s like...I don’t know. It’s everything. Everything that we are is the force. And I didn’t really complete my training all the way so I’m not totally a jedi yet.”   
Rey didn’t answer at first as she thought about this. Was the force the feeling inside of her? She didn’t want to sound stupid so she didn’t ask Julian.

“Another question.” Rey continued. “Were you close with Han Solo?”

Julian actually laughed out loud at this.

“Of course!” she answered. “He was my uncle. Me and him were actually super close. And when we were kids, I don’t know why, but I got along better with him than my dad and Ben got along better with my dad than Han. Han was more of a father to me than my own dad was. He always got me when my dad was giving me shit about something. He got that it wasn’t all about following the rules and being perfect, noble beings. He was such a great guy. Did you like him?”   
“Yeah.” Rey nodded. “I don’t think he hated me, actually. But I could be wrong. He was  _ so  _ cool.”   
“Yeah. He was. I wish I could’ve seen him one last time.”   
“I’m sorry.” Rey said reaching a hand out to rest it on her shoulder.

“It’s fine. I mean, I was pissed at him anyway. But that’s the thing about family, as pissed as you get you still love them at the end of the day.”

“So what is Luke like that made him get along better with Ben? Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I just mean, what’s he like as a person? Sorry.”   
“No, Rey, you’re good. Luke is kind of a weird dude. He’s very intense, like when you talk to him he focuses every bit of his energy on you and it kind of freaks people out sometimes. He’s really, really smart. He knows a ton about the jedi codes and the force and he’s really knowledgeable in general. But he’s kind of stuck in his ways. Which is pretty different from me. Me and my uncle were more relaxed than him and Ben so we kind of did things our own way. But Luke isn’t like that. He’s just like, really morally grounded I guess. But there’s a lot between us and a lot of differences so our relationship is pretty complicated. Him and Ben were the rule followers which made them a lot closer than me and him.”   
“Wow. I’m feeling a lot less confident about going to meet him now.”   
Julian laughed. “Don’t worry about it, Rey. He’s not a bad guy at all. Sorry if it seems like I’m trash talking him. I love my dad, I really do. But I don’t love everything about him.”   
“I get it. Family seems complicated. But one more question, how did you and Poe become friends?”   
“Oh, Poe. I love that idiot. He’s like an older brother to me more than a friend. He’s very protective. But not in like, a creepy way. Just in a loving way. He joined the Rebellion pretty soon after my dad left. We met cause I took his ship to go on a mission which was  _ technically _ my fault but I didn’t know it was his. Anyway. He got really pissed off cause I stole his ship and I know that makes no sense but that was the start of our friendship. And he thinks I’m a shit pilot.”   
“Are you?”   
“No! But he’s convinced he’s the best pilot in the world. So everyone’s flying looks like shit to him.”   
“He is certainly an intense guy.”   
“Yeah. He’s always like that.  _ Always _ . He literally never calms down for even a second.”   
“Crazy.”   
“Yeah. He’s a great fighter. So, that’s pretty much me. I’m just a rebellion baby who grew up as jedi. What about you Rey? What’s your story?”   
“Oh, I promise you, it is  _ so _ much less interesting. I was born on Jakku. Ever been?”   
“Nope. I’ve heard enough to stay away. No offense.”   
“None taken. I wish I’d never been. My parents left me when I was a little kid and um, I don’t remember who they are at all. I really wish I could. But they left and I grew up a scavenger. My whole life has just been scavenging for parts to sell to buy food. Every day of my life was the same mundane routine until a few days ago when I met BB-8. That’s pretty much my whole story. I’m just a nobody who ended up here.”

“Hey! That isn’t boring and you’re definitely not a nobody. You’re a hero! You started this entire chain of events. We would have  _ never _ found the map without you! Come on, don’t talk like that.”   
“That’s sweet of you to say.”   
“I’m serious. When I heard what you did I literally punched a wall because it was so cool. Man, I would love to get a good hit with my saber on my brat of a cousin. Take him down a peg. And I’m sorry about your parents. Nobody deserves that lonely of a life.”   
“Thanks. It’s not a big deal, honestly. From what I’m hearing, parents aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.”   
“Oh, for sure. I don’t know anyone who’s got two functional parents. It’s overhyped.”   
Rey laughed and Julian laughed with her. Julian felt the comfortable warmth of friendship growing between them. Rey had never had a friend before but she wondered if this is what it was like. They continued to share stories about their lives for hours, laughing together and telling jokes. Julian was sorry she had ever been rude to her. Rey was actually a really cool girl. However, Julian knew they needed to figure out a plan of action even though she wished they could just sit and talk for longer. 

“Okay. Rey. Let’s figure out what the hell we’re gonna do when we get there.”   
“Okay. Do you think we should just walk out and confront him? Right off the bat?”   
“I don’t know. I was thinking maybe you should go first. Then Chewie. Then me. In case he isn’t willing. Then maybe we can slowly convince him. I don’t know though. That’s just an idea.”   
“No, that makes a lot of sense. I’ll go first. I’ll give him his lightsaber.”   
“Nice. Don’t be alarmed if he ignores you. He gets in moods. I can’t imagine what kind of mood he’s in now. After these years of solitude.”   
“Any tips? To talk to him?”   
“Uh. Not really. Just tell him who you are and what’s been going on. How desperate we are. I think he’ll listen to you.” 

“Okay. If he doesn’t?”   
“If he doesn’t then come get Chewie. That oughta inspire him to come back. If not, I’ll come out. If he won’t listen to me then I guess we’re beat.”   
“Oh. That’s dark.”   
“Well, we’ll see. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that then! Here we go!” Julian got up and started walking back toward the cockpit. “Chewie boy! We close?” she shouted as she walked. 

“Arrrggghhh!” he answered. 

“Rey, we’re almost there!” Julian called. Rey joined her in the cockpit as the view changed from sky to water. The planet was covered in ocean with a few islands placed sporadically around.   
“How do we know where he is?” Rey asked. When Julian didn’t answer Rey looked over at her and saw that her eyes were closed.    
“To the right, Chewie.” she finally said. “It’s that one. No, not that one. One more. Yeah. There.” Chewie steered to her directions and slowly landed on one of the islands.

_ “How did she know that?” _ Rey wondered to herself.

“He’s here.” Julian said to her. She looked out the window at the massive mountainous surface of the island. “Somewhere up high. Go to the tallest part of the mountain. He’s up there.” Julian looked focued now, the smile gone from her face and the twinkle in her eye from before now extinguished. 

“Should I go now?” Rey asked nervously. She sounded terrified and Julian noticed.

“Yeah. It’s going to be fine. You can do this, Rey. You can do this. You faced Kylo-Ren. Luke is much less intimidating.” Rey grew confident from the words of her new friend and she nodded back. 

“Okay.”   
“We’ll be right here. Whether you come back with or without him.” Julian added. 

Rey nodded again and turned to leave.

“Rey.” Julian said. “May the force be with you.”

Rey turned back and smiled before exiting the Falcon. She quelled the nerves in her stomach with a deep breath as she started the tedious hike up the mountain. This planet was  _ beautiful _ . The vast size of the blue ocean was unlike anything she’d seen. And the lush green of the mountains. It reminded her of Takodana. She took it all in as she climbed, savory every breath of salty air. There was so much of the world to see outside of the barren deserts of Jakku. 

After what felt like very long but was probably only ten or twenty minutes, Rey reached the top of the mountain. She took a break to rest and sat down on a nearby rock. She looked around her surroundings and almost jumped when she saw a person a couple hundred feet away. 

Luke.

He faced away from her, toward the ocean. His hood was up and he didn’t seem to sense her presence. Weird. She got up and started to slowly walk toward him. She felt her heart starting to race as she got closer. It wasn’t just fear, though. Rey somehow felt like this moment was a part of her destiny. It felt like a new start to her life in a way. She took the saber out of her bag and held it out as she made the final steps toward him. 

Finally, Luke turned around. When he faced Rey, his face was a mixture of confusion and grief. He looked at her for a long, hard moment of silence. He reached out for the saber and Rey saw his mechanical hand. She’d heard legends about what happened to that hand. 

He studied the saber as if he was seeing it for the first time before he spoke.

“Who are you?” he asked. His voice sounded strained and tired.

Rey’s mind had gone blank and she struggled to answer him.

“M-m-my name is Rey. I’m with the Resistance. We need your help.” He shook his head with a sigh and started to walk away from her. 

“I can’t be of any help. Not anymore. Sorry.” Rey followed him back down the mountain until he stopped at small hut. 

“Master Skywalker?” she asked hesitantly. He looked at with his hand on the door.

“What?”   
“Um, well, uh, we really need your help. Can I at least explain the situation to you? It’s-”   
“Listen, kid, I’m sorry to burst your bubble. But there’s nothing I can do to help. Whatever it is, I’m the one that caused all of it. Just, just go home. Go back to the Resistance and tell them you tried your best. I can’t come back.”

“The First Order-”   
“Leave. Now.” Rey heard the menacing tone in his voice and briefly considered running away. 

But she couldn’t. He opened and closed the door behind him and she heard it lock quickly. She took another deep breath and knocked. 

“Master Skywalker. Please. Let me talk to you.”

“Go away.” he answered.

“The First Order is getting stronger. Without your help, the Resistance will soon be dead. Please.”   
“Leave this island!” he yelled back. 

“Why won’t you come back? Why won’t you listen?” she asked. She waited and waited for a response but he stayed silent. With a defeated sigh, Rey climbed back down the mountain and toward the Falcon. She saw Chewie and Julian sitting together on a boulder, talking quietly. Julian stopped when she saw Rey and looked up.

“How’d it go?” she asked. 

“He told me to leave. He said everything that happened was his fault and he could never come back. I kept trying to tell him what had happened but he kept telling me to leave. I’m sorry, Julian. I didn’t know what else to say to him. I don’t think he’ll listen to me.”   
Julian sighed and stood up slowly. 

“He’s always been so dramatic. Alright. Plan A is done. Let’s move onto Plan B. Chewie? Let’s hit it. Where is he, Rey?” 

“He locked himself into this hut. I couldn’t get him to come out.”   
“Oh. Okay. Chewie can take care of that. Wait, wait, how about this. Chewie can break the door open and he’ll be standing there with you. And then you’ll tell him he needs to listen to you. And then if he doesn’t I’ll be waiting there and I’ll jump out and start talking.”   
“Do you think that will work?” Rey asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe. Only one way to find out.” Rey smiled in spite of the dreary situation.

“Let’s do it.” 

The trio made the climb back up the mountain to the hut where Luke had disappeared into. Julian hid behind a large boulder where she was sure Luke couldn’t see her and Rey stood back as Chewie approached the door.

“Ahhgghrhghhhgrhh!” he yelled as he slammed the door off its’ hinges. It went flying into the hut and Luke jumped back. 

“Chewie?! What are you doing here?” he yelled in surprise. 

“He’s here to bring you back with us.” Rey answered. “Now will you listen to me? Please?”

“No.” he answered curtly. He walked past her and Chewie to leave, and Rey signalled to Chewie to get his attention.

“Arrrghhh!” Chewie yelled again. Luke turned around and Julian stepped out from behind the boulder. She took a few steps forward and waited for Luke to turn back around.

“What Chewie?” Luke asked in an aggravated tone. When Chewie said nothing, Luke moved to leave again. The second he turned around his face went white as a ghost. Rey saw his legs shake before he fell to his knees.

“Julian.” It was more of a whisper than a spoken word that escaped from his lips. It was almost too quiet to hear, so softly uttered that it sounded like a prayer. She stood where she was and crossed her arms, waiting for Luke to make the next move. He slowly pulled himself up from kneeling and approached his daughter. 

Six years. That’s how long it had been since he had seen her. She had grown so much older in that short an amount of time. Her face looked more tired, more scarred, less beautifully innocent than when she was a child. 

“My god.” he said to her. “I can’t believe you’re alive.” He reached out a hand and laid it on her face, gently stroking her hair. “How are you alive? My Julian, how am I looking at you right now? I thought you were dead. I thought-”   
“Stop.” Julian said quietly, and she pulled away from his hand. “What are you trying to pull? I didn’t die on the night of the temple. I wasn’t killed by Ben. I was alive, Dad. I was still alive and you left me there. You  _ knew _ I was still there.”   
“Julian, I would never-”   
“Yes you would! I could feel you through the force and I’ll be damned if you couldn’t feel me reaching for you. You knew I was there and still you left. So don’t act all surprised to see me now. It’s not like you would know.”   
Rey watched Julian speak in horror. Could that be true? Would Luke really abandon his daughter if he knew she was alive?   
“What happened to you that night? Tell me. Tell me everything.”   
“No, Dad. I’m not going to tell you everything that happened at the temple right now. We’ve got more important stuff to think about, okay? Don’t worry, we’ll catch up later.” Luke heard the sarcasm and hurt in her voice and he grimaced. 

“Okay.” he answered a minute later. “Then let’s talk.” Rey’s eyes widened as he took a seat on a bench. He was agreeing to talk! The first and crucial step. Julian sat across from him and motioned for Rey to join them. Rey and Chewie sat at another bench next to each other, not wanting to intrude. 

“Listen, you need to come back. I don’t care how you’re feeling or if you think this is all your fault or whatever, but you need to come back. Ben and his army are strong now. They didn’t used to be a threat but they’ve almost completely taken over. We’re out of options, Dad. I’ve never seen Leia this desperate in my whole life. You’re our  _ only _ hope.”   
“How could I help? What kind of solution could I even offer?” Luke asked. Rey noticed that he no longer sounded angry, though, it seemed like he was genuinely asking. 

“Frankly, I don’t know. I don’t have an answer for you. To be honest with you, I think we’re all gonna die. There’s not enough of us to survive against them any longer. But, given that, I think you should come back and be with us. One last time. As a family.”   
“What kind of talk is that?”   
“Don’t. You have no idea how hopeless we’ve all become. There’s nothing left to do.”   
“Julian...I’ve never heard you like this. Leia too?”   
“Oh my god, yes. It’s  _ bad _ . It’s really, really bad. She told me she’s never felt so lost in her life, okay? I’ve never heard Leia like this. Never.”

Luke sighed and put his head in his hands. 

“You’ll come back, right Dad?” Julian asked. 

Luke pulled his head up and looked at her again.

“Yes. I’ll come back. But I don’t have some magic solution. I don’t have any great ideas that will save us. But we’ll figure something out.”   
“Alright then. Let’s get going.”

“Julian.”   
“What?”   
“We’re not done talking.”   
“Yeah, we are.”

“Tell me about that night. Please, Julian. Please tell me.”   
Julian let out an annoyed sigh and rolled her eyes. 

“What does that matter right now?! Can we just get home?”   
“I have to know.”   
“Why? Cause you can change any of it now? No. It’s useless.”   
“I want to make things right between us. Please, just talk to me.”   
“Make things right?! Really? Okay. Step one, travel back in time. Step two, don’t abandon us when things get hard. Step three, realize you can’t time travel and you’ll never make things right. God, this is so stupid! I could be home right now with the people I care about and instead I’m here arguing with you! I’ll be waiting on the ship. Come if you want, Dad, honestly I don’t care either way.” 

Julian stormed off towards the Falcon and Rey and Chewie awkwardly sat silently on the bench. 

Luke turned to face them and his face was full of shame. 

“I’m sorry.” he said quietly. “Rey, was it?”   
“Yes.” Rey answered.

“I’m sorry about what I said before. I just need to grab a few things. I’ll be down there soon.” He walked past them briskly and Rey turned to Chewie who shrugged back at her. Rey told Chewie to wait for Luke and she headed back to the ship to talk to Julian. She found her sitting the cockpit, crying, with her head rested on her hands. 

“Julian?” Rey said quietly.    
Julian looked up at Rey and gave her a small smile.

“Hey. Sorry about that. I didn’t expect all my feelings so resurface so...aggressively.” 

“It’s okay. I get why you’re angry. Is that true? That he left you at the temple to die?”   
“I don’t know. I don’t know how much truth he’s telling right now. I thought it was. I don’t know. I’m going to have to talk this all out with him. I just needed to cool down a little.”

“Yeah, of course.” Rey answered, unsure of how else to comfort her friend. It wasn’t long before they heard Chewie’s thunderous footsteps followed by Luke’s. 

“You guys fly. Me and Luke will be in the back...figuring this out.” Julian said with a sigh.

“Okay.” Rey said as she took Julian’s seat. “Good luck.”

Julian winked at her and disappeared into the back of the ship. She told Chewie what she told Rey and then stood at the top of the boarding ramp. Luke stopped when he saw her.

“Permission to come aboard?” he asked.

“Granted.” she answered with a smirk. It was an old joke between them and for a minute she felt a twinge of nostalgia toward her dad.

“Let’s talk, Dad.” Julian said after he was aboard the ship.

“Okay.” Luke said with a nod. He was unsure of his daughter’s true feelings, and she was unsure of her father’s honesty. 

What either of them would give to be Chewie right now.  


	4. Chapter 4

Luke and Julian sat at Han’s holochess table staring intently at each other. It felt weird for both of them to be in each other’s presence after so long apart. Luke felt tortured by his daughter’s pain. Julian felt so conflicted between wanting to love her father and trying to stay focused and get the truth out of him. She knew it was stupid and childish but she wanted nothing more than a hug from her dad at the moment. 

“Do you want to start?” she finally asked. Luke raised an eyebrow at her before answering.

“Where do I start? The night of the temple?”

“I guess.” she answered with a shrug.

“Okay. You know-”   
“Wait. Dad. If we’re going to do this,  _ promise _ me you’re not going to lie. There’s no point of us sitting here if you’re going to lie about it.”

Luke took his daughter’s hands in his own and leaned closer to her. It made his heart break that she asked this. How could the child he raised become someone who didn’t trust anything he said? He knew it was his fault, but still, it hurt. 

“I’m not going to lie to you. I promise.” 

“Okay. Proceed.” she said as she pulled her hands away. 

“The night of the temple. My concerns with Ben weren’t new. I had had growing concerns about him for several years before all of this.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“I didn’t know what to do. I was so against training him in the first place I just tried to ignore it. I know, it wasn’t smart. It’s not what I should’ve done.”

“It’s not your fault.”   
“Maybe, maybe not. Anyway, I went to confront him that night because I sensed that something was going to happen. I looked into his mind and it was so much worse than I expected. The dark side seeped into every corner of his feelings. It was too late to turn him back. For a second I thought maybe it would just be easier to end his life. I ignited my saber for less than a moment before I realized the atrocity of my thoughts. It was too late. Ben woke up and assumed I was there to kill him. I didn’t have time to talk to him before he threw the building down around us and knocked me unconscious. I don’t know how long I was out, but when I woke up the temple was burning. He had killed Sel, Josh, Korman and Kyra. The rest of them had left with him, I assume. And then I looked everywhere for you.  _ Everywhere _ , Julie. I couldn’t believe you were dead and I couldn’t believe you would go with him. It took me three hours to find you. I don’t know how you ended up there, but I found you knocked out in the meditation garden. Ben had mauled you nearly to death. I put every medpack I had on you before loading you onto one of the ships and sending R2 to take you home. I knew I had to leave and I was praying that you would survive long enough to get back to the base. I told R2 to inform them that I had left and that was that. I went to Ahch-To to find the original Jedi Temple. And I never knew if you survived or not.”   
“But Dad...why wouldn’t I remember that? I remember getting onto a ship and flying home.” The doubt in Julian’s voice was evident and Luke could tell she was questioning herself.

“You didn’t, Julie. You were barely hanging on. I kept hoping you would wake up before I left so that I could say goodbye but you were too hurt. You brain probably made up that memory to rationalize what had happened.”

“I never knew you saved my life that night. I’m sorry, Dad. I’m sorry. But why did you leave? I don’t get it! You could’ve come back with us! You could’ve gone right back to the Rebellion and helped us fight!”

“I couldn’t. You know I couldn't have. Ben wanted me dead. He would have relentlessly hunted us down until he found me. I had to leave to give the rest of you a fighting chance.”   
“But he’s after us anyway! What difference does it make?”   
“It’s taken him this long to go after you. You know him and Snoke have spent the majority of their time looking for me. Their search has provided a distraction long enough for the Rebellion to gain strength. Do you see what I’m saying?”   
Julian thought over what Luke said. She realized he was right. He was completely, genuinely right. He didn’t abandon them. He didn’t walk out when it got hard. He walked out to save their lives. She couldn’t even begin to process what she was feeling. Shame, so much shame and regret. Her anger had been for nothing. “Dad, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize what you really did. I didn’t know.” 

“How could you have possibly known? From your point of view, everything I did was betrayal. It doesn’t matter if I did it for the greater good. I still left you. I left you without a parent, a guide, a teacher. What I did might have been the right thing to do. But it wasn’t fair to you. So I don’t want to hear an apology from you, Julian. Your feelings were justified. Okay? Tell me what you’re thinking.” he said after Julian didn’t answer.

“It’s just a lot to think about, I don’t know.”   
“I know, kiddo. I don’t expect you to stop being mad.”

“No, Dad, I’m not mad. I just can’t believe I didn’t know all this time.”   
“Baby, how could you have known?”   
“I just should’ve.”   
“Ah, my Julie. I’ve missed you so much. I shut myself off from the force because I didn’t want to wait around and feel you gone.”   
“What?! You what?”   
“I know. I felt better not knowing. I was just hoping every day that you were alive, somehow.”   
“Well, here I am. I almost didn’t survive that night, though.”   
“Tell me about it. Tell me what happened when you got back.”

“Leia said that I didn’t wake up for an entire week. She thought I was going to die. I finally started waking up after that but I was sedated for another two weeks because my injuries were too severe. Then finally after a month I was awake and not drugged up. It was crazy. It took me forever to get back to being myself. And it didn’t help that I had to tell Leia and Han what had happened to their son.”   
“That’s quite a burden.”   
“I mean, they knew when I got back. They didn’t want to believe it but they didn’t have much of a choice.”   
“When did Han leave?”   
“It wasn’t for a while after that. He stayed with me the whole time I was recovering. And then he stayed for another...hmm...it was probably another year almost. He just couldn’t it take it after that.”   
Luke sighed. “Han.” he said sadly. “My poor old friend.”   
“Yeah. I can’t even think about him right now. I miss him so much.”

“Me too. Julian, Ben doesn’t know you’re alive, does he?”   
“Nope. I think he would be a hell of lot more focused on killing us if he did.” 

“Do you think you could face down your cousin? In a battle?”   
“I doubt it.”   
“Why?”

“He’s much more trained than me. And older.”   
“The force is strong with you. You know you’re an excellent fighter.”   
“Dad, it’s strong with him, too. He’s really, really strong.”   
“What about Rey? Can you feel how strong the force is with her?”   
“Yeah. She’s powerful.”   
“Why haven’t you taught her anything? Hm? Passed on what you know?”   
“I don’t know how to teach, Dad.”   
“If you have knowledge, you know how to teach.”   
“No. I don’t even know much myself.”   
“You know more than you think.”   
“Will you train her?”   
“Yes. If she’s willing.”

Julian nodded and didn’t say anything else. 

“I feel you hesitating.”   
“No. I’m just thinking.”

“About?”   
“I don’t know.”

Luke searched through the force and tried to read his daughter’s feelings but it was no use. He couldn’t connect with her the way he used to and without that simple connection, he was at a loss for her feelings. Luke looked at his daughter thoughtfully before standing up.

“Where are you going?” she asked, the small amount of fear evident in her tone.

“I was just going to go talk to Chewie. I have to apologize to him, too.”

“Oh. Okay. Yeah, you should.”   
“Are you okay, Julie?”   
“Yeah.” she answered. But her voice was distant. Luke swallowed the lump in his throat and left Julian sitting at the table. 

She exhaled and rested her head in her hands once her dad was gone. She didn’t know how much she should blame herself. She wanted to believe him when he said there was no way she could’ve known, but shouldn’t she have anyway? She felt like she had failed somehow. She cursed under her breath and let her emotions stew the rest of the way home. She was emotionally and physically exhausted but she resisted sleep. There was too much going on now for sleep. 

 

***

 

Luke felt his nervousness rising when D’Qar came into view. He had apologized to Rey again before having a long conversation with Chewie, with Rey as the translator. He also promised Rey he would help train her. He had to start redeeming himself somewhere. Thankfully, the base was sparsely populated. He imagined Leia had probably ordered that for his sake. Leia. He held his breath when he finally saw her. She stood a few feet from the landing pad, no one around her except for an eager looking kid in a flight suit. Julian had finally joined them in the cockpit and she had a sly grin on her face.

“Who’s that?” Luke asked, gesturing at the kid.

“That dark haired guy?” He nodded. “That’s Poe. He’s a pilot.”   
“I can see that. Why’s he there?”   
She giggled and shook her head. “I don’t know. He’s always there. He likes to be everywhere.”

The Falcon finally landed and Luke’s nerves shot to a new high. 

Julian sensed her father’s fear but hesitated to comfort him, for reasons she couldn’t explain. Rey and Chewie left the ship and Julian was about to follow but she saw that Luke wasn’t moving.

“Come on, Dad.” she said.

“I’m coming. Just a minute, Julian.”   
“Dad, you’re scared. I can feel it. What are you scared of? It’s your sister.”

Luke looked at his daughter wistfully and started to walk out as well.

“You’re right.” he answered as he walked past her. Julian followed him out and squinted as the bright D’Qar sun hit her eyes. Before she could even take a look around Poe was in front of her and grabbing her for a hug. 

“You’re back!” he said enthusiastically. But under the enthusiasm was, as always, a quiet sense of relief. Next to them, Leia and Luke shared a solemn embrace. There were so many things Luke wanted to say, yet he was too choked up to speak. Leia shushed him though he was silent. “I know, Luke.” she said quietly. 

Poe hugged Julian tight before pulling away and inspecting her up and down.

“Are you good? Yeah? All in one piece?” he asked.

“Yeah. All in one piece.”   
“Okay. Listen.” he looked her dead in the eyes and Julian saw his eyes burning with more fire than usual. “We will talk later, okay? We’ll talk about everything. I’ll come find you later on. We’ve just got some stuff to do first, okay?”

“Okay.” Julian nodded. He looked at her a second longer before clapping her on the shoulder and walking away to meet Luke. Julian barely had a second to recover before Leia was in front of her, reaching for a hug as well. 

Julian gladly accepted and she felt comforted by the familiar embrace of her aunt.

“I knew you could do it.” Leia whispered in her ear. Julian smiled but didn’t say anything. When Leia pulled away, she rested a hand on Julian’s cheek. “I’m proud of you.” she said.

Julian smiled again and Leia could read every word Julian didn’t say. She had a real knack for reading the silent thoughts of her family members. 

Once all the reunions were done, Leia and Luke walked side by side into the base. Poe eagerly tagged along and Julian watched them go. It was weird seeing her aunt and her dad together again. It had been more than four years since they were. As soon as the temple was built Luke didn’t come back to D’Qar. Julian would visit from time to time but Luke was fixated on being completely dedicated to his temple. It had probably been seven or eight years since they’d seen each other, actually. And yet their familial ties were so strong that it felt natural. It was like no time had passed at all, in a way. 

With everyone busy talking and making plans and everyone home safe, Julian finally headed off to get to some sleep. She didn’t want to sleep restlessly in her own quarters so she quietly slipped down the hall and went to Leia’s.

In Leia’s quarters, aside from her bed and desk, there was an old armchair that had been in her and Han’s house back home. For years, if she was particularly upset or couldn’t sleep, Julian would come to that armchair and fall asleep. It still felt and even smelled like home. There was nothing as comforting as that. Leia never seemed to mind that she did, in fact, she never even brought it up. She just let it be Julian’s thing of comfort and never bothered her about it. The smell of home was as nostalgic as ever for Julian and as she curled up in the chair she couldn’t help but feel tears springing into her eyes. She missed Han so much and she wished for her childhood years more than ever. But the smell brought comfort as well and it wasn’t long before she was asleep. 


	5. Chapter 5

Years ago, when Julian was training under her father, she started to feel extremely homesick. They had been on the planet Dandoran for almost five months and she hadn’t been able to go home once to see the rest of her family or friends. She missed her aunt and uncle most of all and she was starting to feel lost without them around.

The training academy her dad set up was nice. There were places to duel, meditate, study, and train. There was only a dozen or so students there with her and they all got along. She was even getting to spend brief periods of time with her cousin.

But as nice as it was, it wasn’t home.

She decided that she would pay a visit to Han and Leia, just for a few days. She thought she would ask Luke, he would say yes, and she would be on her way to see them within the hour. She climbed the rocky stairs to her father’s mountaintop office and prayed he would agree with her plan.

The door was closed when she got there, and she hesitated before knocking.

“Yes?” she heard Luke say.

“Can I come in?”

“Of course.” he answered. She opened the door and let it swing shut behind her.

Her dad was looking at a bunch of papers that were sprawled out across his desk. He did _everything_ the old-fashioned way. No datapads or comlinks; he believed everything should be in person and written with a pen.

“Hey dad.” she said as she sat across from him.  
“Hi Julian. How are you?” he asked. He sounded more tired than usual and Julian hoped he wasn’t in too much of a mood.

“I’m good. Um, I have a question for you.”

“Ask away.”  
“Do you think...it would be possible if, just for like, a day, I could go visit home? Just really quick.”

He sighed. “No.” he said finally. He said nothing else and went back to looking at his papers.

“Why?!” Julian asked indignantly.

“You know the rules. Nobody leaves in the middle of training unless there’s an emergency.”  
“But why not? I just want to see Aunt Leia and Uncle Han for a little bit. I miss them so much.”   
“Julian, the answer is no. You’re in the middle of a rigorous and transformative training experience right now. You’re becoming the person you’re meant to be. I’m not letting you get distracted from that.”   
“It’s one day! I’m not leaving for a year!”

Luke’s eyebrow raised disapprovingly and Julian knew she was in for it now.

“First of all, watch your tone. I don’t know why you suddenly feel the need to leave right now but I need you to get back into focus.”  
“But dad, I don’t get it! What’s wrong with me seeing my family?!”   
“Your primary focus needs to be here. With your training. Period.”

“I can be focused on training and still see them. Just for a day. Please?”  
“Julian. No.”

Julian rolled her eyes and gave an exasperated sigh. She knew he wasn’t changing his mind.

“Do you understand me? You are not to leave here, even for a day.”

“Okay.”  
“Tell me you understand.”   
“I understand.” she answered in a monotone voice.

“Okay. I’ll see you at meditation tonight.”

Julian barely nodded back and got up to leave.

“Hey.” Luke called after her.

“What?”

“Don’t go making any irrational decisions out of anger.”  
“I know, Dad.” she answered.

As soon as the door closed behind her, she smirked and started heading for her ship. She didn’t care if her dad didn’t approve. She was going to see her family.

***

Her X-wing and flightsuit were exactly where she had left them five months ago. Her ship looked as beautiful as ever and she felt guilt for not flying it.

It was her own personal X-wing, a gift from her uncle when she turned ten. Her dad would never have bought it for her but Han didn’t care. It was grey and dark blue and she had customized the engine so that it went faster than a standard X-wing.

Julian was sure no one was around, but she still slipped on her suit quietly and tried not make any excess noise. Her ship was a solid mile away from the academy, so she knew no one was going to notice until she was already up in the air.

Ah, well, she’d face the consequences later. Her fingers tingled as she fired up the engine of her treasured ship. She plugged in the coordinates for home as quickly as possible. She didn’t give her dad or the academy another thought as soon as the planet was out of her view.

She realized she missed flying more than she thought. It was such an easy way to escape life for a while. She could zone out and think about absolutely nothing while the muscle memory in her hands steered the ship. She gazed at the stars around her, happy to be flying amongst them instead of staring up at them.

She felt content.

As soon as her home planet came into view, Julian felt her heart start racing. She hit the boost on her control panel and her ship lurched toward the surface. She could barely contain her excitement and had to avoid crash landing because she could barely wait to get out. She parked far enough from Han and Leia’s house that they wouldn’t hear the ship; she wanted it to be a complete surprise. The second her ship touched the ground, she jumped out, pulling her suit off and leaving it behind in one motion. She grabbed her backpack and practically sprinted through the hills. She ran and ran until she saw their house come into view. She finally slowed down and caught her breath, her heart still racing. She smiled at the sight of the _Falcon_ sitting a couple hundred feet away. She stood outside for a few minutes, just looking and taking in the sight of her favorite place again. It was just about dinnertime and Julian hoped both Han and Leia would be home. Both their speeders were in the garage, so they most likely were. She walked up to the door with a goofy smile on her face and rang the doorbell. She heard shuffling inside and then her aunt’s voice shout, “Han, could you get that?”

The door opened a second later and she saw her uncle’s face light up when he saw her. She dove into his arms without a second’s hesitation and he lifted her up off the ground.

“Julian Skywalker!” he shouted. “I missed you, kid! To what do we owe the pleasure?”

She laughed as he held her up in the air.

“I couldn’t stay away from you guys any longer!” she answered. Leia came running in from the kitchen and her jaw dropped.

“Julian!” she exclaimed. Han let go and Julian ran straight into Leia’s arms next. “I’m so happy to see you. What are you doing here, sweetheart?”

“Just visiting!” Julian answered. They pulled apart and Leia reached up to kiss her forehead.   
“You’re just in time for dinner. Come sit down and tell us about, well, everything!”   
She followed Leia into the kitchen and was hit with the smell of home cooked food instantly. Her mouth watered as she remembered how long it had been since she’d had that.

Han walked past her and grabbed another plate from the cabinet.

“Thanks!” Julian said as she took it from him. She went to grab silverware but Han waved her hand away.  
“Sit down, kid. I got it.” he said with a wink. She smiled back at him and took her usual seat at the table. Leia put food on her plate and Julian nearly passed out from how good it smelled.

As soon as her aunt and uncle were sitting she dug in.  
“This is the best thing I’ve eaten in five months.” Julian said in between bites. Han and Leia both laughed and Leia placed a hand on her arm.

“I’m glad you like it! Okay. Tell us all about your training.”

“Okay. It’s okay. I don’t know. It’s weird being there all the time. The training itself is fine. It’s actually a lot of fun to get to practice dueling against everybody. Cause everybody’s got a different style. So I feel like I’m learning a lot in that respect. It’s just pretty lonely, I guess.”  
“Why?” Leia asked. “You have your dad. And some of your friends.”

“I know. I mean, it’s not like, super lonely. Me and Kyra and Sel hang out a lot. But I barely see my dad unless he’s a.) yelling at me or b.) training me. And he doesn’t talk to me when we’re training. It’s not bad or anything. I am learning a lot. But I would still rather be here.”

“He doesn’t talk to you? What do you mean?” Han asked.

“He’s got this strict policy of treating everybody the same. He gave me a big lecture at the beginning and he was like, I’m not gonna treat you any different just because you’re my kid. So now he barely talks to me unless he’s lecturing me. Which, to be fair, is pretty often. But still.”

“Jackass.” Han replied.

“Han!” Leia scolded. “I’m sorry you’re lonely, Julian. Just keep focusing on your training and you’ll be back home before you know it. He’s hard on you because he loves you.”

“Yeah, I know. I might be in a bit of trouble when I get back, though.” Julian smirked.

“What’d you do?” Han asked.   
“Well...see...this visit was a bit of an impulse. My dad told me I wasn’t allowed to leave and I got pissed off and came anyway.”

Leia laughed and shook her head, but Han looked genuinely angry.

“Who’s he to tell you not to leave?! What are you, a prisoner?”  
“That’s what I said! I told him I didn’t get it and he just got all pissed off and started yelling at me.”   
“And then he gave in?” Han asked.

Julian bit her lip and laughed nervously.

“Well...not exactly. He told me, uh, “under no circumstances was I to leave.” But I’ll deal with it when I get back.”  
Han sighed this time and gave her a light smack on the head.

“If he has a problem you tell him to take it up with me.” Han told her.   
“Me too.” Leia added. “We missed you too much.”   
Julian smiled and went back to eating.

“How’s Ben?” Leia asked a minute later.

“Oh he’s good! I’ve actually been seeing him more lately. The two of us are the most skilled when it comes to dueling so sometimes we teach together. If not we usually duel against each other. He’s really good.”  
“Is he causing any trouble?” Han asked.   
“Nah. He’s really quiet. He kind of keeps to himself and meditates a lot.”   
“Really? My kid?”   
“Yeah. I think his temper’s gotten a lot better.”   
“That’s so good to hear.” Leia answered before Han could.

“Yeah! I haven’t had any, like, deep conversations with him or anything but he seems good.”  
The rest of their meal was Leia telling Julian about work and Han telling her about his endeavors. She took it all in, savoring every second she got to talk to them.

After dinner was over and they had cleaned up, Leia had to make a quick work call and left Han and Julian sitting on the couch in the living room. Han was drinking a beer and telling Julian about his latest repairs on the _Falcon_ when Julian interrupted him.

“Uncle Han?”  
“What?”   
“Do you want to go to the hill for a little bit?”   
The hill Julian was referring to was a small hill on the left side of their house. When she was a kid, Han would take her out there at night and they would look up at the stars together. He knew almost all of them and she loved to learn new ones from him.   
“Sure, kid.” he answered with a smile. “Grab a coat, it’s cold out.”

“I didn’t bring a coat!” she answered.

Han rolled his eyes and grabbed a blanket off the couch.  
“Don’t tell Leia I let you bring this outside.” he said as he wrapped it around her shoulders.

They walked out to the hill and laid down side by side, gazing up at the thousands of stars over their heads. Han had nothing left to teach her about them, so he quizzed her on what she already knew.   
“What about that one?” he asked as he pointed, and she got it right every time.

“You probably know more than I do now.” he said.

“I doubt it.” she answered.   
Julian’s heart ached for her childhood.

She missed the simplicity of her life when she could spend hours on this hill, concerned with nothing other than which star seemed the brightest that night. She unknowingly let out a heavy sigh.  
“What’s wrong, kid?” Han asked.

Julian looked back at her uncle and then back up at the stars.  
“I wish I could come home.”   
Han put his arm out and Julian crawled up next to him, resting her head against his shoulder.

“I just miss it here. I feel out of place there. I don’t know why.”  
“I know you do. It’s okay to feel like that. It’s an odd group of people, you know? And just an overall odd circumstance. Stick with it a little longer, okay? And then if you’re still unhappy come back here.”   
“I can’t. My dad would _kill_ me.”   
“Well you know what? He’s going to have to get through me first. He doesn’t control your life.”

“I know. But I have to respect him. Right?”  
“Listen, kid, you can respect your dad and still make your own choices. Alright? I’m serious. If you want to come home in a few months, come home.”   
“Okay. I’ll think about it.”

“I just want you to be happy, kiddo.”  
Julian smiled and cuddled up closer to her uncle. They looked at the stars for a few more minutes before the temperature got too cold to stand and Julian started shivering under her blanket.

“Alright, time to go inside.” Han said.  
“Noooo, let’s stay a little longer.” Julian objected.   
“You’re shivering. Come on.” Han sat up and pulled Julian with him. She stood up and followed him inside.

Leia was writing something at the dining room table when they came in.

“How are you two not freezing?” she asked.

“We are.” Han answered gruffly. Julian laughed sheepishly and Han ruffled her hair. It was fairly late at this point and the three of them headed off to bed soon after.

Julian lay in the bed in her designated room and thought about how great the day had been. That overwhelming feeling of _home_ was so refreshing after the loneliness of the last few months. She fell asleep quickly, surrounded by the nearby warmth of her family.

She woke up early the next morning, now acutely aware of her impending trouble with her dad. She made the bed and went into the living room where Leia was, as usual, sitting at the table and writing.   
“Good morning, love.” Leia said as Julian walked in.

“Good morning. I hate to say this, but I gotta get going soon if I wanna get back before nighttime. So my dad doesn’t kick my ass.”

Leia laughed and put down her pen. She grabbed three envelopes of the table and walked towards Julian. She handed them one by one to Julian who looked at her quizzically.

“For your dad, for you, and for my son.” Leia explained.

“Ohh. Okay. You got it. Aunt Leia, is it okay if I wake him up real quick before I go?” Julian asked, gesturing to their bedroom.  
“Of course. He needs to get up anyway.”   
Julian quietly opened their bedroom door and saw Han asleep in bed. She walked up and knelt in front of him while gently shaking his shoulder.

“Uncle Han. Uncle Han!” Julian whispered. He groaned and slowly opened his eyes.

“What?” he asked groggily.

“I’m leaving so I came to say goodbye before I go.” Julian answered.

Han’s eyes opened fully and he sat up abruptly.

“Leaving already?” he asked sadly.

“Unfortunately.”

“Alright. Come here, kiddo.” Han pulled Julian in and kissed her forehead. “Be good. Don’t get into any trouble, you hear?”  
“I won’t.”   
“And if your dad gives you a problem, who are you sending him to?”   
“You!”

“That’s right. Visit again soon, okay?”  
“I’ll try.”   
“Love you.”   
“Love you too, Uncle Han.”

He rolled over and presumably fell right back asleep as she left the room. Leia was still standing in the living room waiting for her and Julian walked up for a hug goodbye.

“Thanks for letting me crash here. And for dinner.”  
“Julian, _any_ time. You come back whenever you want to. Do you need breakfast before you go?”   
“No, I’m okay. Thank you.”   
“Are you sure? Let me pack you up something.”   
“Aunt Leia, I’m good! I’ll eat when I get back.”   
“Okay. Tell your dad we miss him.”   
“I will!”

“And Julian, if you can, look out for Ben, yeah?” Leia asked hesitantly.

Julian gave her a knowing smile and nodded.

“Of course.”

“Come back soon, love.” They hugged again and Julian didn’t want to part.

“Bye.” Julian said sadly as she opened the door to leave. Leia waved and Julian forced herself to go outside. The door closed behind her and Julian sighed.   
The walk back to her ship went slowly and felt lonely. When it finally came into view, Julian was hit by a bad feeling in her gut. She knew her dad was going to _pissed_.

As she flew back her anxiety got heavier and heavier. She wasn’t close enough to Luke to actually connect with him, but she could anticipate how angry he was going to be. When she entered the planet’s atmosphere, she felt it.   
Her dad was so pissed it was literally radiating off the energy of the planet. She landed as quietly as she could, in a spot further away from the academy than she had been before. She left her flight suit behind and started her trek back.

When the academy came into view, Julian got an uneasy feeling. Her fellow students were lined up along the fence outside the main gate. She saw her dad standing at the gate. She took a deep breath and tried to steady her racing heart and she approached him.

She walked up to him and stopped, unsure of what to do. Luke reached out his hand and placed it on Julian’s shoulder, adding to her confusion.

Before she could say anything, his hand pushed down hard and she fell to the ground on her knees.

“What?” she started to ask.

“You don't deserve to stand with us.” he said coldly.”You have disrespected my authority, the integrity of this Jedi Order, and the respect of all of your peers. Stay where you are.” he added, before turning to face his other students. “If any of you do not feel like you can fully commit yourselves to this any longer, the door is open. You can leave and never come back. Forget your training and go back to your old lives. If you cannot fully, _completely_ commit yourselves to your training, then I suggest you do leave. But if you do stay, I will have no more of this rebellious, apathetic, _nonsense_ in my academy.”

He turned back to Julian and she braced herself for a longer lecture. Instead, she saw him raise his hand and before she could react, he brought it down and delivered a harsh slap across her face. She stumbled backward and instinctively felt tears spring into her eyes. Before she could fall back she felt her dad grab her by the collar and pull her up to stand again. Julian heard audible gasps coming from several of her friends.

“This is the first and final warning to all of you. Should anyone else follow Julian’s example, he or she will be expelled immediately. Now, all of you, back to your training. Dismissed.”

Julian watched her friends quickly scramble away towards the training center. She felt her father’s vice grip on her shirt and waited to see what he would do next.

“My office. Now.” he said as he shoved her forward. She immediately started walking, afraid to anger him any further. She climbed the semi-mountainous path that led there in silence, feeling his icy stare on her back the entire time. When they got there, she stepped aside from the door to let him enter first.

“Sit down.” he told her.

She quickly sat across from him and avoided making eye contact.

It was silent for a few moments and Julian was unsure of what to do.

Should she talk? Should she wait for him to do something?

Finally, he spoke.

“What do you think this is?” he asked.

“What?”

“This. What we’re doing here. Does it mean nothing to you?”  
Julian felt her anger already flaring up again.

“No. Of course not.”  
“Really? Because the way you’re acting right now is telling me otherwise.”

“Dad, you know this is important to me. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry  I disrespected your authority. That was wrong. But I’m not sorry I went.”  
“You’re not sorry at all. You’re acting like a child. Clearly you aren’t mature enough to be doing any of this.”   
“Don’t you think you’re overreacting just a bit?”   
“ _Excuse_ me?”   
“You are! You’re acting like I up and left for three years to start an Empire 2.0 and destroy the galaxy. All I did was go home for a day. A single day.”

“Against my direct orders not to. I don’t care what you did. The point is you disobeyed me after swearing to me that you wouldn’t. And don’t you dare joke about something like that.”

“I just wanted to go home! Why can’t you see where I’m coming from, Dad?”  
“If anyone else did what you just did, they would’ve already been banished from here.”   
“I’m not anyone else! I’m your daughter!”   
“I can’t just be your dad here, Julian!” Luke yelled.

Julian fell silent as his words hit her. She felt a new divide form between them.

“You can’t seem to be my dad anywhere.” she snapped back.

“Julian. Stop. What I mean is that where we are right now, I can’t be cutting you slack and giving you special treatment. I have to be your teacher and only that. That’s what’s best for you.”

Julian sat there silently, saying nothing.

Luke continued.   
“I know that this can be hard. Nothing about this lifestyle is easy, okay? But I need to know that I can trust you. Trust you to do what you’re supposed to be doing and know that you trust me to help you. And to teach you.”

Julian still sat silently. She didn’t have anything to say that wouldn’t just get her in deeper shit.

“Julian.” Luke scolded. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“Sure.” she answered sarcastically.

Luke gave and exasperated sigh and slammed his fist on his desk.

“God, you are being such a brat!” he yelled.  

“I was just homesick for the people who still treat me like family!” She stood as she said this and watched the anger leave Luke’s face. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the letter Leia had written.

She flung it onto his desk and turned to leave.

“From your sister. Remember her?” she asked, before walking out and slamming the door behind her. She took off running and finally let the tears fall down her face.   
Why did her dad treat her like such shit? She didn’t buy into his bullshit about him only being able to be her teacher. He could be a parent too, if he tried. He just didn’t want to put in the effort it would take. She tried to tell herself she didn’t care about his parenting, or lack thereof, but it still hurt. She just had to find Ben and deliver Leia’s letter and then she could hide in her tent and go to sleep.

Julian approached the training center quietly, not wanting to catch anyone’s attention. She walked around every room but she didn’t see Ben anywhere. She checked everywhere else inside the fence but he was nowhere to be found. She was about to give up but she decided she would check his tent on her way back to her own. His tent was in the corner, kind of tucked away from everyone else.

“Ben?” she asked when she came up to it. “Are you in there?”  
He immediately popped his head out and Julian jumped back.  

“Hey.” he answered with a smile.  
“Hey. I have something for you.”

“Come in!”

The tents each of them had were a pretty decent size. There was room for a bed, a nightstand, and a small chest with a few drawers. Three or four people could sit in one comfortably, not that they ever had time to hang out.

She ducked and took a seat on her cousin’s bed.

“So, um, are you okay?” Ben asked as he took a seat next to her. “You know, your face?”

“Ohh, from getting slapped? Yeah, I’m fine. Just annoyed.” Julian responded.  
“That was pretty harsh. Making an example out of you and everything.”   
“Yeah. I don’t know what his problem is. He’s just…” Julian trailed off.

Ben put his arm around Julian and patted her shoulder.   
“I know. He’s doing his best. How was it being home? Did you see my parents?”

“Yeah! That’s why I came to find you.” She pulled the letter out of her pocket and handed it to him. “This is from your mom. She said to give you this and tell you she misses you.”

Ben smiled and took the letter.   
“What about my dad?”   
“He told me to stay out of trouble and to tell you to do the same.”

“Typical.”

Julian laughed but she didn’t have anything else to say to her cousin.

“Alright, I’m gonna go try and sleep for a while. Flying for the first time in a while made me more tired than I expected.”  
“Oh, yeah, of course. Thank you for bringing me this. I really appreciate it.”   
“You’re welcome!”   
“And hey, Julian, between you and me, I don’t think you did anything wrong. I wish I could go home for a while. I don’t know why Luke is so averse to it.”   
“I don’t know either. But if I go again, I’ll let you know!”   
Ben actually laughed at this. “No, no, no. Don’t go again. Your dad will kick your ass. But if for some reason he manages to change his mind, we’ll go back together.”   
“Sounds like a plan.”   
Julian smiled at him and got up to leave.

“See you later, Ben.”

“See you.”

Julian headed back to her own tent and curled up in her bed. She pulled out the envelope addressed to her from Leia and opened it up.

  


_Dear Julian,_

_I’m so glad you were able to come visit us, even if your visit was brief. Your uncle and I are so proud of you and all the training you’re doing alongside your father. You have the courage and dedication of your father and his father before him. I know it can seem too hard to continue but things will get easier as time goes on. You’re going to be an incredible jedi when the time comes. Please know that you can come back anytime, now or in a few weeks, months or years. You always have a home with us._

_Continue to work hard and stay focused and it will pay off in the long run. We will be cheering you on solar systems away!_

_Xoxo,_

_Aunt Leia and Uncle Han_

 

Julian felt tears on her cheek for the second time that day and she clutched the letter close to her chest. She was homesick and it hadn’t even been a day since she’d been with them. She heard footsteps outside of her tent and quickly shoved the letter into her nightstand and wiped away her tears. She heard the footsteps stop and felt her father’s presence directly outside. She got nervous, expecting another lecture or slap.

“Julian?” she heard him call, and saw the opening of the tent rustle.

“Yeah?” she answered, trying to steady the shaking in her voice from crying.

“May I come in?”  
“Yeah.”

She saw her father’s silhouette and then saw him come in and duck to enter. He was holding a plate of food and Julian’s mouth started watering when she smelled it. She realized she hadn’t eaten anything since last night at dinner.

“Can I sit?” Luke asked. His voice was much softer than earlier, and Julian could tell that he wasn’t mad anymore.

She nodded and he sat across from her on her bed.

“I brought you some dinner.” Luke offered the plate out to her and she took it without a second of hesitation.

“Thank you.” Julian answered. She couldn’t ignore her hunger and started eating right away.

“Can I talk to you?”  
She looked up at her dad and nodded.

“I want to apologize for what I said earlier. About not acting like your father. Julian, that was a horrible, cruel thing to say to you. I was letting my anger control my rational thinking. I didn’t mean what I said. You know that I love you more than anything in the world, right? I should never have said that to you. I am always, before _anything_ else, your dad. I wasn’t taking responsibility for my own actions while criticizing you for the exact same thing. I was hypocritical and harsher than I should have been. I’m so sorry, Julie.”

Julian stopped eating and put her plate to the side.   
“It’s okay. I have to apologize, too. I’m really sorry for disrespecting you like that. And I take back what I said. I do regret going. I know that I let my emotions control me. I let my anger get the best of me too. I was just feeling really lost and I didn’t know what to do but I know that isn’t an excuse. I’m sorry. And you were only mad because of my actions so it’s my fault anyway.”   
Luke put a hand up to stop her.

“Okay, no. First of all, I appreciate you apologizing. All I wanted was for you to take responsibility for what you did. That’s it. But I don’t want you to think that it was your fault that I said those things. It was a result of your actions that I was angry, yes, but none of those things that I said were your fault. That was completely on me. Okay?”  
“Okay. I was just feeling so homesick. I didn't know where else to go or what to do.”   
“I know you did. I know you still do. But I need you to learn that a big part of becoming a jedi is learning to let go of attachments when they affect your personal growth.” 

“I know. It’s harder to learn than anything else, I guess.”

“I know it is, Julie. You know that I just want what’s best for you, right? I’m not doing this to make you suffer. All I ever want is what’s best for you. I know sometimes I fail to see what that best is. But I’m trying.”  
“I know, Dad. I just got a little lost, that’s all. It’s not because of you.”   
“I can’t help but feel like it is.”   
“What do you mean?”   
Luke sighed and pulled away from Julian until he was looking at her.

“When your mom died, I knew that my job as a parent would get harder. I knew there would be spaces I wouldn’t be able to fill. I knew I would come up short a million different ways. I know that being raised by one parent instead of two wasn’t easy for you. When I see you struggling through something, I feel responsible for not being able to give you the stability or wisdom your mother could have provided.”  
“Dad, don't say that. You haven’t come up short. None of this is because of your parenting. Maybe Mom being here could've helped, but there's nothing either of us could do to bring her back. I guess sometimes even when you do everything right, things are still hard.”

“You’re wise, Julie. I promise I won’t stop trying to learn from my mistakes. I know I can be a good teacher for you. I just hope I can be a good father, too.”  
Julian reached out and hugged her dad.

“The best, Dad. The very best.”


	6. Chapter 6

 

Poe eyed Luke Skywalker with caution as the man proposed a plan he could not get behind. He hadn’t expected Luke to be so cold and quiet, but he guessed that years of being a hermit would have that effect on anyone. Leia had jumped right into planning and she clearly took the lead over her brother. He had offered ideas every once in a while but for the most part he just stood there quietly, observing everyone around him. 

But now, he proposed something Poe deemed absurd. His idea was for him and Julian to go to the First Order together and face down Kylo-Ren. While doing that, the fleet would destroy Snoke’s ship and knock out their leadership in one swift go. 

“I’m gonna stop you right there, Skywalker.” Poe interrupted. “With all due respect, how would  _ any _ part of this plan work? I mean, yeah, we could take out Snoke’s ship. That’s no problem. But what makes you think you could draw out Kylo-Ren? Or that you could kill him?”

A quick flash of anger covered Luke’s face before he spoke. 

“What makes you think I couldn’t? I trained him, didn’t I? With me and my daughter’s skills combined, I think we could take him. And the fl-”

“Wait, wait. Wait a second. You want to endanger Julian’s life on the hunch that you “think” you could take him? He already tried to murder her once. She shouldn’t have to-”   
“I know what my daughter is capable of.” Luke interrupted. Poe felt his protective instincts kicking in and his anger started to rise. Leia considered interrupting but she deemed it best to let them finish. 

“Do you? Do you really?” Poe asked, his voice a mix of anger and outrage. “Have you been anywhere  _ near _ her in the last five years? Have you fought a  _ single _ battle alongside her? Because I have. I have watched her mature from a hotheaded teenager to one of the strongest fighters in the Rebellion. And let me tell you, she is fantastic. She’s got the strength and tactic of a world-class warrior. I’ve seen her accomplish more than soldiers who’ve been at this for decades. But Kylo-Ren? He tried to  _ murder _ her. You seem to be forgetting that. He is ruthless and evil to the core and much,  _ much _ more powerful than her. She’s just a kid, really. She can’t go out fighting against a monster who clearly will not hesitate to kill her.”

“What makes you think you know what she’s really capable of, hm? Clearly you don’t have any experience with the force. Your strongest defense is an X-wing. A canon. A droid, maybe. You don’t know how different it is when the force is your ally. It changes everything. Don’t tell me that I don’t know anything about my daughter. She is as strong with the force as some of the greatest jedi in history.” Luke’s hands gripped the table and he leaned closer to Poe as he spoke, his anger clearly rising.

“Bullshit.” Poe answered. “You don’t know a thing about her. She’s, she’s just a weapon to you. I don’t want to hear your crap about the force and the jedi. I’ve seen firsthand what Kylo-Ren can do. I’ve seen him murder in cold blood. I’ve seen how strong he is. And I won’t stand here and let you propose some preposterous plan that puts Julian’s life in danger. Some of us have actually been here for the last four years. Some of us have protecting your daughter while you were off wallowing in self-pity.”

“Poe…” Leia warned. 

“No, General, I’m sorry, but please let me speak. If he wants to send himself on a suicide mission, that’s fine. But he’s not taking Julian down with him. Not while I’m around.” 

Luke stared down Poe with pure hatred in his eyes before storming out of the room. Once he was gone, Leia let out a deep sigh. 

“Poe...” she said slowly.

“General, I’m sorry for my outburst, but I had to say it. You have to see where I’m coming from.”   
“I do, Poe. I really do. I don’t want her going out against him. But you shouldn’t have gone that far. She is  _ his _ daughter.”   
“I know.” he said, running a hand through his hair. “I know. But I just couldn’t...I can’t let anything happen to her. I can’t see her...” he trailed off.

“I get it, Poe. It’s hard and it’s so, so complicated. I don’t know what our best plan is yet. I don’t want me and my brother’s kids pitted aganist each other. He’s still my son, Poe. I can’t bear the thought of either of them hurting each other. And I know how much you care about her. I promise you, I do too.”   
“I’m so sorry, General. I didn’t even think of it like that.”

“There’s no easy way out. And I know that the boy I raised is gone, but it doesn’t make it any easier.” Poe couldn’t think of any possible way to comfort her and so he rested a hand on her arm, attempting to gesture with his face how sorry he felt for her. 

“I’m going to go talk to Luke and try to sort this out. Whatever we think, it’s going to be Julian’s decision regardless.”   
“But General, she-”   
“No. She can make her own decisions. We can always come up with a plan B. Or C. We always do. And we’ll keep her safe.” 

Poe sighed and straightened up. “Yes ma’am.” he finally answered. Leia left him in the command center to find her brother. She could feel him through the force easily, even after all this time apart. She let her senses guide her and was surprised when they led her back to her own quarters. She waved the door open and saw Luke sitting on the edge of her bed, looking despondent. She saw Julian also, fast asleep in the armchair in the corner of the room. Leia smiled at the sight, it happened rarely now that she was older and seeing her curled up on it reminded her of when Julian was a small child. 

“Luke.” she said finally, drawing his attention away from his daughter. When he looked up, Leia was alarmed to see tears in his eyes. There were only a few times in her life she had seen him cry.

The death of his wife. 

The birth of his daughter. 

And once more, when he left the burning temple for Ahch-To. Leia was not with him then, but she had felt his sobs through the force as clear as if they were her own. 

She approached her brother slowly and sat down next to him when she reached the bed. 

“Why the tears?” she asked gently. “Was it Poe’s words? He can be very arrogant, Luke. I love the boy, but he’s blissfully young. He hasn’t seen enough to mature him yet.”   
“It’s the opposite, Leia. He was so right. He was so completely spot-on in his assessment of me that I couldn’t take it.”   
“What do you mean?” Leia asked, genuinely confused.  

“He told me I don’t even know my own daughter. Leia, he’s  _ right _ . I thought about it after he said it and he is completely right. I don’t know a thing about my own kid. I’ve missed so much of her life, Leia. I have no idea what she likes, what she dislikes, what she’s good at, what she struggles with. It’s like I don’t know her at all. She’s a different person. I raised her for 12 years and now I barely know a thing about her.”   
“Luke, what are you talking about? You, you’re talking crazy. She’s so much like you, Luke. She’s got the same rebellious spark as you. The same utter dedication when she’s passionate about something. She’s  _ always _ on the move. Sometimes she says things that sound so much like you I have do a double take. She’s not a different person, Luke. She’s just not a kid anymore. You’re meeting her for the first time as an adult, and she has grown into someone strikingly similar to yourself.” 

“But our connection is gone! We used to have such a strong force bond. I could feel all of her emotions as my own. When I saw on Ahch-To...there was nothing. Everything between us was gone. And then when I was talking to her it was like we had never met. I couldn’t feel her anymore. I-”   
“Oh, come on, Luke. You know that your force bond means nothing compared to your actual relationship.  _ You’re _ her father.  _ You _ are the reason she’s so strong.”   
“No, Leia. I’m not. You are.” Luke looked at his sister and saw the sincerity in her eyes. “You didn’t just keep my daughter alive. You finished my job in raising her. You made her strong. You made her good. How can I ever thank you enough? Without you, would she be here? Would she have turned to the dark side? I don’t know. I’ll never know. I’ll never have to know or worry because of you.”

“It’s been one of my greatest joy in life, Luke. She’s like a daughter to me. And now, you can be a family again. You can learn all about her. But trust me, she is still very much your kid.”   
“Tell me. Tell me what she’s like.” he said, looking over at his sleeping child. 

Leia rolled her eyes and laughed. “She’s stubborn as anything. She thinks she can do everything by herself. And, to be fair, she basically can. She’s brilliant. She’s like the best parts of you and Aria combined. She has the exact same sense of humor as Aria. But you knew that.”

“I did know that. She’s a lot like her mother.”   
“Really? I see more of you in her.”   
Luke smiled and again looked at Julian. She looked a lot like Leia, actually, and she could probably pass for either of their kids. 

“Trust me. You’ll see more of yourself in her the more you’re with her. You have all the time in the world now to make up for the time you lost.” There was a pause before she continued. “We have to deal with Ben, Luke. It breaks my heart but we can’t hold him off any longer.”   
“I know. Leia, believe me, if Julian and I go…”

“You have to leave it up to her, Luke. It took a  _ lot _ of convincing for her to go get you.”   
“Really?”   
“Yes. She was terrified. She was scared to see you after all this time. What kid wouldn’t be?”   
“I’ve seen plenty of things in my life. And I knew that when I became a parent I would see even more. But I never thought that I would get to a point where my own kid would be afraid to see me.” 

“Well, as I predicted, she wasn’t afraid when she finally did see you. I could feel it as soon as she walked off the ship. She was peaceful. Her restless mind had finally settled a bit. She-”

Leia paused when she heard Julian shift in the armchair. She started to open her eyes looked startled when she saw the two of them sitting there.

“What’s wrong?” she asked groggily.

“Nothing, Julie. Go back to sleep.” Luke answered. Julian blinked a few times and sat up.

“No, no, I’m up. What’s up, why are you guys sitting there?” 

“We were just talking.” Leia responded. 

“About?” she asked suspiciously. 

“What? You think after years of separation we have nothing to talk about?” Leia answered. 

“I guess.” Julian said with a grin. “Um, listen, I gotta find Poe because-” she glanced at her watch “oh, shit! I’ve been asleep for a while. Okay. I gotta go find Poe and talk to him.”

“Why?” Luke asked.

“Cause I have stuff to tell him.”   
“What kind of stuff?”   
“Just stuff, okay? Enough with the questions, dad, jeez. I’ll see you guys later.” Julian hopped out of the chair and was out of the room before either of them could interject. 

“I told you, Luke. She can’t stay still for more than a moment.” Leia said. 

“Well, I’m learning already then.”

“See that? You’ll figure it out. We’ll all figure it out.”

“And Leia...I’m so sorry about Han.”   
She sighed. “Me too. I never thought, well, I never thought Ben was capable of that. He’s truly gone now. My son is never coming back. It’s too bad it took me my husband’s life to realize that.”   
“You never give up hope, Leia. It’s one of your most incredible qualities. Han won’t come back but he didn't die in vain. We’re going to make all of this right. Starting now.”   
Luke’s voice still sounded tired. It still sounded strained and worn and beaten down. But his confidence was restored. He had his family back and he wasn’t going to let his failures from the past ruin that now. 


	7. The Beginning of the End

Julian walked the halls feeling disoriented for sleeping through the better part of the day. After a haphazard search around the base, she finally stumbled across him in a side hallway where she nearly tripped over BB-8.

“Poe!” she exclaimed.

“Jules?! Oh, thank god. I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Where ya been?” His voice was anxious and Julian noticed it lacked its’ usual enthusiasm. 

“I was sleeping for-”   
“Oh, that’s great. Okay, listen. About the plan. I don’t think it’s a good idea. It’s-”   
“What? What plan?” Julian interrupted.

“What? Did you not?” Poe looked around seemingly very confused. “You didn’t hear?”   
“Hear  _ what _ ?” Julian asked.

“Okay, come on.” Poe answered before promptly grabbing her arm and dragging her down the hall. Once they were inside an empty room, he closed the door and started to talk.

“So I met your dad.” Julian could already sense Poe’s anger. “He’s got this grand idea that the two of you are going to go kill Kylo-Ren. And that we’re going to destroy the First Order in one quick go. I mean, it’s insane! He doesn’t know what we’ve been through. He can’t even begin to imagine how many different tactics we’ve tried...how many people we’ve lost.” Poe’s face was flushed and his voice cracked a little at his last few words.   
“Poe, breathe. No one’s going anywhere right now. What exactly did my dad say?”   
“Literally what I just said. He said that the two of you could take on Kylo-Ren while the fleet takes out Snoke’s ship. Or something like that. I don’t know. It’s an insane plan, Jules. I’m sorry, I know I don’t know your dad well, but he’s a maniac.”   
Julian laughed despite Poe’s intensely serious attitude. 

“I know, Poe. He’s totally insane. But you gotta remember, this is the man who blew up a Death Star. The man who turned  _ Darth Vader _ good. He’s done a lot of crazy things. Sometimes that’s the only way.”

Poe looked genuinely shocked at this comment.

“Wait, so you’re telling me you would do this? You think you could climb aboard a First Order ship and kill Kylo-Ren? What are you, crazy?”   
“I don’t know. Maybe. With both of our strengths combined-”

“What the hell, Jules?! You’re out of your mind! You’ve been fighting this war your entire  _ life _ . And now all the sudden, just cause your dad pops back in, you think you can win? You’re being childish.”   
“You’re being pessimistic! This might be our best chance, Poe! Why do you think everyone was searching for the map to him? He’s not just some crazy wizard. My dad’s been saving the world since before either of us were born.”

Poe’s expression changed from anger to just being purely pissed off.

“You’re idolizing the man who’s caused you more pain than anyone else in the world.” he said coldly. 

“A lot has changed!” Julian shot back. “He did the things he did to protect me. To protect all of us.” 

Poe rolled his eyes and sighed.    
“Jules, you’re too blinded by your love for dad to see this objectively. I know this is hard for you, but you’ve gotta be logical.”   
“Oh, shut up, Poe.” Julian answered, now looking more pissed off than him. “There’s stuff you don’t know, too. Don’t brush it off like I’m some starstruck little kid. I know damn well what my dad is capable of. If there’s any hope of us winning, he’s our best bet.” 

Poe’s expression softened a bit and he rubbed his beard. 

“I know that. There’s things about you and your dad I’ll never understand. And I don’t doubt that either of you are incredible jedi. But I’ve seen the strength of the First Order. And the last thing in this world that I want is to lose you to them.“

Julian didn’t say anything but after a second reached up to hug him. Poe was taken aback by the gesture, considering Julian usually rolled her eyes or ducked whenever Poe tried to hug her. She rested her head on his shoulder and he smiled. 

“Poe.” she said quietly.

“Yes?”

“You know I trust you, right?”   
“I know.”   
“You will  _ never _ lose me to them.”

“Better not.” 

Julian finally pulled away and looked at Poe intently.    
“Let’s go find my dad. Maybe you’ll make a better second impression.” 

Poe smirked. He was hiding his feelings of doubt and terror over her going. He couldn’t lose her now. Not after they’d come so far. He tried to hide his feelings before she sensed them and he followed her out of the room. 

“So, your dad hates me by the way.” Poe finally said to break the silence between them.

Julian laughed. “No he doesn’t. He doesn’t really like anyone unless he has a reason to.” 

“Well…” Poe trailed off.

“Oh boy. What did you say to him?”

“I may or may not have told him he didn’t know his own daughter. And that he was trying to use you as a weapon. I got a little heated.” Poe anxiously studied Julian’s face for a sign that he might’ve angered her too. But she just laughed again. 

“Poe, you’re an idiot.” she said lovingly. “Don’t worry, I’ll set you guys straight.”   
“I should probably apologize to him.”   
“Maybe. But he’s pretty sensitive. And I’m sure he said something pretty bad to you if it set you off that much.”   
“It’s fine. We’ll work it out. I’m sure we’ll by friends by the end of the day!” Poe said enthusiastically. 

Julian shook her head and smiled at Poe’s ever prevalent sense of humor. They didn’t have to walk much further before they ended up in the same spot as Luke and Leia. Luke took a quick angry glance at Poe before smiling at his daughter. 

“The two people we were looking for.” Leia said to them.    
“No way, really? Us too.” Julian joked. Julian still felt weird when she saw her aunt and uncle together again. It was the feeling of something unnatural almost, only because she never thought she would see them reunited in her lifetime. 

“Well, what are we standing around here for?” Leia asked. “Let’s go make a plan.” Wordlessly and respectfully the three of them followed Leia to the infamous command center. Once inside, the friendly atmosphere shifted to much less cordial as the tension between Poe and Luke grew. 

Leia could feel the both of them wanting to speak and she held out both her hands to keep them quiet. 

“Poe.” she started. “Luke is the best chance we have at winning against the First Order. We both know that. So, before anything else I need to you to realize that we are going to take action. And Luke is going to be in charge of that action.”   
Poe nodded stiffly and stayed silent. 

“Okay. Luke, if you got onto their ship, how do you plan on drawing Ben out his ship?”   
“If he feels me through the force, he’ll come exactly to wherever I am. He wants to kill me more than ever.”   
“What?” Poe questioned.   
“No, he’s right.” Leia responded. “He’ll be so desperate to have finally found you that he won’t hesitate. He’ll come.” Leia took a deep breathe before turning towards Poe. “Poe. Do you think you and your squadron can take out Snoke’s ship? Because if he goes down, the rest of it will crumble with him.”

“Snoke’s got an escape ship.” Julian interjected. “He’ll get out of there the second things start looking bad.” 

“Without Ben?” Luke asked. “I don’t think so.”   
“He’ll leave Ben without batting an eye if it comes down to his safety. But if we can kill him before we blow up the ship…” Julian started.    
“How would we do that?” Poe asked.

“We’ll go in first. Just in a single ship so that we’d be undetected. Dad, you’ll find Ben and face him. And I’ll kill Snoke.” Julian seemed confident in saying this but immediately Poe and Leia disagreed.

“What?!” Poe yelled. “Are you crazy?”   
“Julian, no! That’s insane.” Leia said sternly.

Julian ignored both of them and waited for Luke to answer. 

He looked at her for a long time before slowly shaking his head. 

“What?” Julian asked. 

“Snoke is too powerful.” Luke finally said. 

“Dad, I can do it. He’s older and weaker than he used to be. That’s why he has Ben do his bidding for him.”   
“He’s still too powerful for you to take alone.”   
“We don’t have any other choice.” Julian said defiantly.    
“Yes, we do. You’ll come with me and we’ll face Ben together. And then Snoke. There’s no-”   
“Dad, think! Snoke’s not stupid! If the two of us kill Ben he’s going to know and he’s going to leave and then we’ll be right back to the original problem.”   
“Julian…” Luke warned. But she could hear the change in his tone. He wasn’t fighting her so much as he was wishing what she said wasn’t true. Leia and Poe could hear it too. 

“Luke.” Leia said quietly. “We can’t do this. There’s another way. There’s always another way.”

“Not this time.” Luke answered. 

“What?!” Poe lurched forward in response to Luke. “You can’t be serious. You can’t possibly be serious.”   
Luke gave Poe an annoyed glance before talking. “If you can distract Snoke while I face Ben, then I can come help you kill him.” 

“I’ll figure something out.” Julian said, nodding her head. 

“No, no, no, what?! What is wrong with you?” Poe said, clearly to Luke. “If you send her to kill Snoke, you are signing her death sentence.” 

“Poe!” Leia yelled. “This is not the place or time for that kind of talk!” 

“Yes it is! This is insane!”

“If you’re not onboard with the plan, you can leave. We’ve got other pilots.” 

Poe was taken aback by Leia’s harsh words and he swallowed to try to get rid of the sudden lump in his throat. 

There was uncomfortable silence as each of them waited for someone else to speak. Finally, it was Julian that spoke up. 

“Poe. We need you. We need a pilot to get us onto that ship and be our ride out of there. We  _ need _ you to be onboard.”   
“Julian, don’t do this.” he begged. His voice was hoarse as felt himself losing the argument. 

“What other chance have we got?” Julian asked. 

“Jules, please, we’ll think of something.”

She sighed and Poe saw the resigned look in her eyes. This couldn’t be happening. They had been finding new ways to fight the First Order for years and suddenly Skywalker shows up and comes up with a kamikaze mission from hell that would leave his best friend dead.

Poe shook his head at her and rubbed his beard. Well, if she was going to die, he was certainly going down with her. 

“Yeah. I’m your pilot. There’s no way I’m letting you go after them without me.” 

Julian gave him a kind of sad smile and nodded back. 

“So it’s settled then.” Leia said with a strained voice. “We’ll send the three of you on a cloaked ship and then have the fleet waiting. As soon as you’re done and out, we’ll bomb the  _ Supremacy _ and whatever else is around it. We’ll knock them out. For good. Any questions?”    
Poe and Julian shook their heads and Luke said nothing. 

“Then I’ll get the rest of the leadership in here and inform them. But you should all get ready. We aren’t going to wait long to get started.” She turned away from them and walked over to the intercom and started talking. Julian, Luke, and Poe left to let Leia do her job.

Julian desperately needed a breath of fresh air and she headed for outside, to which Poe immediately followed her. 

“Julian!” Luke called. She stopped in her tracks and turned around. “Come here.” he said. 

“I’ll be back in a few.” she answered before turning back around and walking briskly away without waiting for a response. She noticed Poe following her out but she didn’t acknowledge him as her brisk speed turned into a jog. Once outside, she took off for the perimeter fence and slipped under it. 

“Jules!” Poe finally called after her. She ignored him and jogged further before stopping at a worn down dock that stuck out into the water. She sat down on the edge of it and dangled her feet until they were mere inches above the surface. Poe caught up a few seconds later and sat down next to her.    
They both caught their breath for a minute before either of them spoke. 

“You don’t have to do this, Jules.” Poe said. “It’s a crazy plan, and, and your dad was pressuring you but you don’t have to do this.”   
“I do, Poe.”   
“Why?”   
“There’s no other way. If we’re going to take them down, this is how.” Poe looked heartbroken and Julian could sense he was about to cry. Julian put her arm around Poe’s shoulders and pulled him closer to her.  

“I can’t lose you, Jules.” he said, his voice breaking. 

“And I’m telling you, you won’t. I don’t lie to you. Not when it matters.” she answered. He held back his tears and rested his head against her shoulder. 

“I wish I believed you.” he said wistfully. 

She gently laid her hand on Poe’s hair and looked at the lake, perfectly still, in front of them. 

“Whatever will be, will be. But regardless, we’ll always have each other.” 


	8. The Final Battle

Of all the goodbyes Julian had said to Leia in her life, this one filled Leia with the most unease. A feeling of trepidation was rising inside of her as she watched her brother and her niece preparing to leave. Aside from the obvious worry that either of them might not survive, Leia couldn’t begin to process who else might not survive. Who everyone was hoping wouldn’t survive.

Her son.

Her heart broke when she thought of him dying. Yet her heart broke when she thought of all the terrible things he’d done as well. This wasn’t supposed to be a part of parenting. There’s no manual or how-to book for what to do when your child becomes a murderer. There’s no easy way out of the internal conflict that is loving your child and accepting that they have to be killed. There was no easy way out of _any_ of this, and Leia had to accept that and move on if she wanted to keep the spirit of hope alive. So she pushed her feelings away and put on a brave face as Luke and Julian prepared to board their ship. Poe had picked his “most trusted U-Wing” for their trip and BB-8 was already riding copilot for him. She had her own transport to get own, as she needed to supervise the fleet for their attack on the First Order, but there was no way she was leaving without a goodbye. Not for a mission with such severe possibilities.

“General, we’re ready to go.” Lieutenant Connix said to her.   
“Alright, just a minute.” Leia answered. She walked around the U-Wing until she found Poe loading a blaster.

“Poe!” she yelled out. He looked up and instantly came running over.

“Yes, General?” he asked.

“We’re getting ready to go. Are you sure you know _every_ step of the plan?”   
“General, we went through it at least a dozen times. I’ve got it.”   
She gave him a skeptical look before reaching out to grab his hand.   
“Be careful, Poe. I need you back here after this.”   
“Yes ma’am.” He looked around to make sure no one was around and said, “And I promise you, I’ll make sure they’re safe. I’ve got them.”

Leia gave a sharp nod of understanding and released his hand. She prayed it wouldn’t be the last time she would hold it.

She turned around and saw Luke and Julian a couple hundred feet away. She waited for them to get to the ship and marvelled at how similar they looked next to each other. She relished the sight of them together until they were close enough to talk to.

“All set?” she asked them.

“Yes.” Luke answered. Julian nodded and Leia could feel the anxiety coming from her niece.

“Well, my ship is leaving.” Leia said. “I better get on it before they go without me.”   
Luke gave her a sad smile and felt the nostalgia of their 40 years together rolling over him.   
“I’ll see you on the other side of the war.” he said to her, and reached out a hand to stroke her hair. He leaned forward and put a gentle kiss on her forehead before turning around and boarding the ship. Julian stood there quietly, unsure of what to say lost in her own thoughts.

Leia said nothing as she pulled Julian into a hug. “We didn’t come this far to lose now. Make me proud. Listen to your father. Listen to _yourself_   above all.”

“I will.” Julian answer. Leia went to pull away but Julian hung on a second longer. She couldn’t bear to let go. Of all the goodbyes she’d said to Leia in her life, this one was the hardest.

Leia watched with a lump in her throat as the ship took off, and her three most cherished people disappeared into the sky.

***

The trio’s flight to the First Order was awkward, to say the least. Julian could practically cut the tension between Poe and Luke with a knife. Poe was flying at top speed, probably trying to show off to Luke how good a pilot he was, and Luke was meditating, probably to show off to Poe how good a jedi _he_ was.

“Poe.” Julian said as she tossed a ball lightly in the air.   
“What?”   
“I’m bored.”   
“Okay.”

“Play catch with me.”  
“Jules, I’m flying.”   
“Put it on autopilot.”

“No. It stresses the engine to put it on auto during hyperspace.”   
“No it doesn’t.” Luke suddenly interjected.   
“What?” Poe asked out of genuine surprise at hearing his voice.

“That’s not true.” Luke continued. “The engine is completely automatic during hyperspace travel. You’re essentially playing pilot if you think you’re actually flying this ship right now.”  
Poe rolled his eyes and didn’t turn around. He figured he shouldn’t start anything with Luke, given their current situation.   
“Alright.” he answered back. He switched the ship to autopilot and opened his arms to catch the ball. Julian tossed it to him and they threw it back and forth in silence for a while. This was usual for them, as flying could get pretty boring. But if felt weird that they were silent; they usually talked for hours while passing the time. Poe wasn’t very good at staying quiet for long, and he eventually gave up and started talking.

“Are you nervous?” he asked.

“No. Are you?”  
“Me? What do I have to be nervous about? I’m just the getaway driver.”   
Julian laughed and answered, “You’re right. You’re basically just a chauffeur.”

“Wow. My job has been reduced from Commander of a fleet to chauffeur.” Julian laughed again and Poe felt more relaxed as some of the tension dissipated. They talked and laughed together for the rest of the flight, with Luke staying silent but threw the occasional glare in Poe’s direction. When the ship came out of hyperspace, _The Supremacy_ and its’ entire fleet came into view.

“That’s a big hunk of metal.” Poe said. Julian nodded and Luke stood up to look out the window.

“Do you have the chip?” Julian asked. Poe nodded and inserted the cloaking beacon into the ship’s control slot.

“Alright. We’re going in.” he said. He took a deep breath as the ship flew right through the First Order shields.

“Land in that storage sector.” Luke ordered. Poe slowly guided the ship between two massive storage containers, taking Luke’s order without question. Once they landed, he stood up as if he was about to go with them.   
“What are you doing, Poe?” Julian asked.

“What? I can’t get up to wish you luck?”

She rolled her eyes and ducked to avoid his hug.   
“Hey! Get over here!” he said lovingly. He finally managed to grab her and pull her into his arms. “You come back alive, you hear me?”

“I will.” she answered. He hugged her tightly and Luke watched the scene with softer eyes as he realized how much Poe cared about his daughter. He’d been so defensive of his actions that he had overlooked how loving Poe was. After they hugged, Poe faced Luke and stood with his hands clasped behind his back, a sign of respect from the old days of the rebellion. Luke reached out with an open hand, not only asking for a simple handshake but a bit of forgiveness.

Poe shook it heartily as if to accept his apology and create a mutual feeling of respect between the two men.   
“Best of luck, Luke.” Poe said confidently.

“Thanks, Poe.” he answered earnestly. Julian raised her eyebrows in confusion at the newfound camaraderie between them. Luke followed Julian out and Poe watched them go. He prayed it wouldn’t be the last time he saw either of them.

***

Luke and Julian silently slipped through the halls of _The Supremacy_ , both searching for a sense of where their enemies were. Julian’s senses were stronger than her father’s, and she picked up Snoke’s location quickly. She stopped dead as she felt his evil presence nearby.

“What is it?” Luke asked.  
“It’s Snoke. I know where he is. I gotta go.” Luke firmly grabbed Julian’s arm.   
“Julian, be _careful_ . Remember what we talked about. Don’t let your anger get the better of you. Be methodical, not impulsive.”   
“Dad, I know. You’re just repeating everything you said a hundred times.”   
“Take the guards first. It’ll be easier-”   
“Dad.”   
“And don’t let them-”   
“Dad! I know what to do. Go find Kylo. It’s time to finish this.”   
Luke slowly released his grip and felt a sense of anguish as Julian slipped down a nearby hallway. He knew he had to find Kylo quickly so that he could help Julian with Snoke. He searched through the force and found his nephew’s presence easily. Family was almost always familiar enough to find instantly. He let it guide him through the ship’s dark corridors.

Meanwhile, Julian stood near Snoke’s throne room, unsure of how to proceed. She knew he had eight Royal Guards in there, and that if she went in against all of them she’d be dead in less than a second. She needed a way to draw them out without drawing reinforcements to her location. Then she remembered the air vents that ran through his room. If she could somehow alter those, she could suck the guards into the ventilation shafts. She didn’t need to find a control panel, she knew she could use the force for something as simple as this. She closed her eyes and reached out. She could see the inside of the room, Snoke’s disgusting body curled up in his chair, the guards standing perfectly still around him. She summoned all the energy she could and vacuumed it through the vents. There was an audible _whoosh_ from inside the room and she could hear the clattering of their weapons flying around. She turned the fans on to full blast and heard a sickening splattering as the guards hit the blades one by one. The effort of it was nothing to her, and she quickly opened the door before Snoke could call in backup.

She felt nauseous when she saw him, and they quickly locked eyes.

“You!” he screamed, jumping out of his chair. She could barely look at his grotesque face but she forced herself to stand her ground.   
“Julian Skywalker, how dare you come aboard my ship!” he charged toward her and sent a bolt of force lightning. Instinctively, Julian ignited her lightsaber and blocked it.

“Good to see you again.” she answered.   
“I thought your scum had been cleaned out of the galaxy. My apprentice swore he had killed you, but clearly he was wrong. Now I’ll have to finish the job myself.”   
“You wish.” He shot bolts from both his hands and Julian deflected them with ease. “It’s over for you, Snoke. Your reign ends today. You’ve destroyed too much of my life. Of my family.”   
“Oh, my destruction of you is just beginning, child.” He lept and spun through the air, surprising Julian with the height of his jump. He appeared old and brittle, but evidently the force was still strong with him.

He landed in front of her and swiftly kicked the lightsaber out of her hands. She had no time to react before he picked her up with another jolt of lightning.   
She writhed in pain as he lifted her several feet off the ground.   
“You and your father will be no more. You are the last steps we have to take before we take control of the galaxy! I will enjoy killing you. And I will _relish_ in telling your father you are dead.” Snoke threw her back and she hit the wall twenty feet away. She felt several of her ribs crack and she landed with a thud onto the ground. She tasted blood and she coughed out the remaining bits of electricity from her lungs.

She could barely open her eyes from the piercing pain in her head. She laid there still as Snoke approached. When he was less than a foot away, she summoned her strength, reached her hand out, and felt her lightsaber come into her grasp immediately.

“I don’t think so.” she said weakly. He shot lightning again but she jumped out of the way and did a 360 degree flip over his head, landing behind him. She ignited her weapon before he could turn around and felt it make contact with his skin. It carved a hole through his stomach and he groaned as it went all the way through his body. “I told you Snoke, it’s over for you. You had the chance to come back so many times. This is your own fault.” she said as she pulled the weapon out of his body. He fell over and moaned in pain.   
“You...scum.” he coughed. “Ren will kill you. And your father. The dark...side...will always...win.” His eyes rolled back and Julian felt the life leave his body.

She couldn’t believe she’d actually killed him. After years of devastation at his hands she had killed him. She knew she couldn’t relish in it a second longer. Her dad and Ben could be anywhere. She reached for her comlink and called Poe.  
“Bring in the fleet.” she said, out of breath from her fight.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Fine, just call the fleet. We gotta act now.”

“Copy that.”

She held her saber in her left hand and wrapped her right around her midsection in an attempt to shield her broken ribs. She felt a sharp pain every time she took a breath and she was limping from landing on her ankle. She reached out through the force and searched for her father or her cousin. She didn’t feel either of them but felt suffering from somewhere. Her own injuries? She wasn’t sure, and she frantically moved through the ship trying to find the source. It felt closer and closer and she ran toward it until she was rocked back by an explosion.

The fleet. They had gotten started quickly. She ignored the noise from the explosions and let her senses guide her again. She heard her comlink buzz again and she patched Poe through.

“Jules, our ship just got blown to pieces!” he yelled. She heard crashing noises and winced.

“By who? Are you okay?”  
“Yeah, it’s them. They tracked our signal and came over here. So we’ve gotta find a new way out of here, stat!”

“Call the fleet and tell them to come get you. Surik has his transport. When we’re done, we’ll find an escape pod.”

“What? No way! I’m not leaving you guys.”  
“Poe, just get out of there! You’re gonna be one man against a hundred!”

She heard him audibly sigh before answering.

“Alright. Be careful. We’ll come back for you.” She shut the comlink off and hoped the fleet would get in there before something happened to Poe. All she could worry about for now was finding her dad so they could get out of here for good.

***  
After sensing the presence of his nephew, Luke had moved fast to find him. He had to get back to Julian before Snoke could kill her. He was gambling with his daughters life. When he felt Kylo’s presence nearby, he found himself at the command center of the ship. He assumed there would be many people inside, but he knew that Kylo would want to face him alone.

He waved the door opened and walked in, quickly scanning the room. There were dozens of people at control panels and a few more standing on the bridge. Standing directly in the middle was Kylo. His back was turned to Luke, and he was staring straight ahead at the fleet that was now attacking his ship. Kylo sensed his uncle and turned around sharply.

He said nothing. He seemed shocked to seem Luke standing in front of him, but his shock was masked by an overwhelming and sudden sense of anger.

“Everyone leave this room. Now.” he commanded.

Several people looked up in confusion while the rest bolted out at his order. A ginger haired man standing next to Kylo looked at Luke with disgust.   
“Is that him?” he asked.

“Leave us. _Now_.” he said again. The ginger looked irritated but he left with the rest of the remaining people. When the door closed behind them, Kylo took several steps toward his uncle.

“Hello, Ben.” Luke said as he, too, walked closer.

“Why are you here? You wanted to make my job easier? Didn’t feel like running anymore?”  
“On the contrary. I came to finish this. I’m a little tired of your temper tantrum.”   
“You’re foolish. As you always have been. My powers far exceed yours. And your fleet will get destroyed by mine. All of it will be gone soon.”   
Luke laughed.   
“Ah, Ben. You’re wrong. You are so wrong. I’ve got a little trick up my sleeve.”   
“Do you? What is it? A new canon? A cool new lightsaber move? You’re pathetic. I’m ashamed to share your blood.”   
“Ben. Reach out. Who else’s presence do you feel here?”   
Ben’s face looked annoyed and then confused as he felt his way through the force.

His face turned to shock. “It...it can’t be. No. It can’t be. She’s dead. I killed her! I killed her!”  
“Mhm. Except you didn’t.”   
Kylo’s face returned back to its’ angry expression before he spoke. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll kill you both. I’ll destroy every “trick” you’ve brought onboard. She is nothing compared to my power.”   
“All this talk about your “power.”” Luke said with a sigh. “Prove it.”   
The two of them threw their robes off in sync and ignited their lightsabers. The light of Kylo’s weapon reflected into his eyes and gave him a wicked glow. He didn’t hesitate to launch himself at Luke. Their weapons clashed and the two of them were thrown back. They clashed again and again, each of them trying different moves but neither succeeding. Luke had trained Kylo-Ren. Their fighting styles were nearly identical. Kylo may have had youth on his side, but Luke had experience. They both fought hard and the minutes ticked by. Their staminas were both waning but neither one of them could pull off a final move. There seemed to be no end in sight until a strong disturbance in the force disrupted both of them.

Snoke. Julian had killed him. Luke felt a sense of pride come over him and he let down his guard for a brief second. Kylo surged with anger as he realized what had happened. As Luke lost a tiny speck of his focus, Kylo struck him with a fatal blow to the abdomen. Kylo, in response to his hit, let down his own defenses. Luke’s adrenaline kicked in and he failed to acknowledge what was suddenly killing him. He struck back at his nephew, putting an identical wound in his body.

They both staggered backwards, their lightsabers falling out of their hands. They seemed to fall in sync, both noticing the extent of their wounds as they landed on the hard ground.

Luke knew that this wound would kill him. He knew that he didn’t have much time. He felt Julian coming closer and closer and he knew that he had to hold on for her. He looked over at his dying nephew who he saw was staring back at him. The hate was gone from his eyes, his face clean of stress and full of innocence.

“What have I become?!” he screamed to himself. “Everyone I know goes away in the end. Uncle Luke.” he called out. “I’m so sorry, Uncle Luke.”

He had turned. Luke felt it like a wave washing over him. With the fatal blow he delivered to Luke, Kylo-Ren had transformed back into Ben Solo.

Before Luke could answer, he heard the door open and saw Julian sprinting into the room.

“Dad!” she screamed. She felt the pain coming from inside of him and she rushed to his side. She looked down at his wound and cringed. “Dad, are you okay? What happened?” He noticed she was hurt too, and he tenderly reached out a hand and rested it on her arm.

“You did it.” he said weakly. “I knew you could do it.”

“Julian!” Ben called out. Julian looked up in disgust at her cousin.

“He did this?!” she asked Luke. He didn’t need to answer for her to know it was true. She jumped up to attack him, lightsaber in hand. Luke, though weak in his physical form, was still strong with the force and he threw his daughter back. She looked up in confusion at him.  
“Dad, stop! I’m going to kill him! I’m going to finish this, now!” She got up again and Luke once again stopped her.

When she finally sat still, Luke motioned her over.

“Come here, my child.” She crawled over and sat in front of her father. “He’s going to die, Julian. Let go of your anger. It won’t help you now. He’s not long for this world, and neither am I.”

“What?! Dad, what are you talking about?! We’re going to get you out of here right now.” Julian reached down to help her dad up but he pushed her away.

“Julian. Stop. Look at me. It’s clear that I’m not going to survive this. And this ship is going to explode soon. If you waste time getting me out of here, we’ll both die. You’ve got to get back to the ship and get out of here before that happens.”  
“Don’t be stupid! I’m not leaving you here!” Julian yelled back.   
Luke looked into his daughters eyes and suddenly, she understood. _He wasn’t going to survive._

If she somehow managed to get him off this ship, he would die anyway. Silently, tears started falling down her face.

“Dad…” she whispered. Luke reached up with his last bits of strength and cradled his daughters face in his hands.

“Julian, you’re the best of my life.” he said lovingly. “Promise me you’ll never give up. Not from this. Not from anything. Promise me you’ll always keep the spirit of hope alive no matter what.”

Julian cried into his dad’s hands and couldn’t answer.

“I can’t leave you dad.” she finally answered.

“I’ll always be with you, just like your mother. And your uncle. We’ll watch over you every day for the rest of your life.”

He paused a for moment and looked into his daughter’s eyes for the last time.   
“Go, Julian.” he whispered. She cried harder and hugged him, wishing for time to freeze so she could savor the feeling. As she stood, she took a final glance at Ben, who was kneeled over in pain but looking up at her with tears in his eyes. She was confused for a minute as she searched for the anger that usually was there, but instead felt guilt and regret coming from him.

Luke sensed Julian’s feeling. “The hate has left his heart. Kylo-Ren is no more. He’s Ben again.”

“I’m sorry.” Ben called out. “I’m sorry for every second of pain I caused you, Julian. I wish I had known...I should’ve known. I should’ve known the world was wide enough for both Luke and me. I’m forever going to be the villain in your history. I’m sorry, cousin.”  
“Me too.” Julian answered, a look of pity and sympathy in her eyes. She hesitantly reached down to grab her lightsaber and clipped it onto her belt. She looked at the life draining out of her father before forcing herself to turn around and leave. She sprinted down the halls of the exploding ship, desperately looking for a way out.

On the fleet’s cruiser, Poe anxiously leaned over the control panel, next to Leia on the bridge. He stared at the ship as more and more of it was destroyed.

“Come on, come on, come on.” he said to himself. Julian had to be coming out of there. Everyone on the cruiser was holding their breath as they waited for her and Luke to appear. Poe would never forgive himself if he had left and she ended up dying on that ship.

Back on the bridge of _The Supremacy_ , Luke slowly made his way over to his dying nephew. Ben was coughing up blood and his face was growing paler and paler. He was crying, his dark eyes full of sorrow and pain. When Luke was close enough, he used his weak bits of strength to pull him into his arms. As his uncle held him, Ben felt like he was home for the first time in years.

Luke looked down at Ben’s face and saw him no longer as the picture of evil but rather the child he had raised. Years of memories flooded his mind as he gazed upon the innocence in Ben’s eyes. He pictured the first time he had held his nephew, gazing into his soft hazel eyes, mere hours after his birth. He remembered the immediate sense of unconditional love he felt for him. He remembered Ben learning to walk, to talk, and all of his other childhood firsts. He remembered when Julian was born and Ben came to meet her. He was thirteen and he was as thrilled as Luke had ever seen him. He thought Ben would be like an older brother to her.

“Uncle Luke.” Ben whispered weakly. “I know it means nothing, but I’m so sorry. I know you’ll never-”  
“I forgive you, Ben.”   
“You what?”   
“I do. I vowed to love you and protect you when you were born. I don’t intend on breaking that vow now. Or ever.” Luke looked up as he felt a presence suddenly and saw the spirit of his late best friend standing over them.

“Hey, kid.” Han said to Luke. Luke smiled back at him. Han looked down at his dying child, who Luke sensed was ready to cross over.

“Come here, son.” Han said, extending his arms out. Ben stood slowly and the light continued to pour into his body. Luke saw Han embrace his son. Finally, Ben vanished into nothing, held tightly by his forgiving father. Luke smiled at the peaceful resolution between them and he gazed out at stars in front of him. He felt his own death seconds away and he was surprised to feel a new presence in front of him.

His own father.

Anakin Skywalker appeared in front of Luke and extended his arms in a similar fashion.

“Come here, son.” Luke felt his pain fading away as a beautiful sense of warmth overtook his body. He accepted his father’s embrace and welcomed the peaceful quiet of death.

***

There was a mix of blood and tears covering Julian’s face as she ran, both of them from copious amounts of emotional and physical pain. She had taken out a dozen stormtroopers on the way and she wasn’t sure how much longer she was going to be able to stand. She had felt the great disturbance in the force when her cousin and her father died, respectively. She had no choice but to block out the horrible feeling or she would have collapsed. Something told her to go down a side hallway that she passed and she ran right into the backup landing pad of the ship. Some of it had been destroyed but a few spare ships were still in tact. She painfully climbed into a TIE fighter and started up the engine. She put in the navigation for the fleet’s cruiser and patched through to their communication channel.

“This is Red 5, requesting permission to come aboard. I’m in a First Order TIE Fighter, serial number #11301998, do no engage.”  
“Jules!” Poe shouted back. “You’re alive!”

In spite of everything, she couldn’t help but smile. “That’s affirmative, Commander Dameron. Requesting permission to come aboard.”

“Granted!” he yelled. “Are we waiting for anyone else?” he asked. Being a pilot, Poe realized the TIE Fighter was a single passenger ship. He thought Luke might still be alive.

“Negative. Cleared for departure after I arrive.” Julian answered. The TIE Fighter moved incredibly fast and it was only a few minutes of flight before she was steering in the cruiser’s landing pad. She felt the cruiser immediately hitting light speed once she had landed. She clicked off the engines and opened the hatch and before she could even take off her seatbelt she saw Poe climbing the ladder attached to the cockpit.

“Oh my god.” he said breathlessly. “I thought I’d never see you again.”

He reached in to hug her and immediately let go when she winced.

“Are you hurt? You’re hurt. Medic!” he shouted down. “We need medics!”

Julian attempted to climb out of the Fighter but the pain in her ribs forced her to sit back down. Poe reached in and Julian felt his strong arms effortlessly lifting her up. He carefully held her over his shoulder and climbed back down the ladder. A transporter was waiting for them and Poe sat down on it while gently helping Julian onto it.

“To the medbay, Commander?” the driver asked.

“No. Head for the bridge first.”  
“Yes sir.”

Julian propped herself up and leaned against Poe’s chest. He wrapped an arm around her and held her close. He didn’t need to say anything right now. He knew that there would be plenty of time later for consolation.

When they reached the bridge, Poe helped Julian up and she placed an arm over his shoulders for support. They walked a few feet before Leia was in front of them and Julian practically collapsed into her arms.

 

“My girl.” she whispered.

“He’s gone. Leia, they’re both gone. Ben and Luke.”  
“I know. I felt them go. But they were together. My son finally came home.”

Julian cried onto Leia’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save them.” she sobbed. “I didn’t get there in time. I wasn’t fast enough.”

“You did everything you could. And you killed Snoke. I felt his evil energy die. The First Order is no more because of you.”  
“I killed the most powerful man in the galaxy and I wasn’t strong enough to save my own dad! I’m so sorry.”

Leia held her niece as she continued to sob.

“There is finally balance. We can start over now, Julian.”

Julian took a few shaky breaths and stopped crying. She looked at Leia who ran a hand over her bruised face.

“I would tell you to save your sorrow for after the fight, but the fight is over. Rest. Heal. Mourn your dad. But know this, Julian; you were our last hope, and you saved all of our lives. _You_ were the spark that lit the fire that _burned_ the First Order down.”

Julian gave a nod of deep understanding. When Leia let go of her completely, Julian wavered and almost fell over. Poe caught her instantly and held her upright.

“Okay. Get her to the medbay.” Leia said to Poe, who was already carrying Julian back onto the transporter. As they rode off the bridge, Julian safe in her best friend’s arms, she looked back at her aunt. So much had been lost, and there were still so many obstacles to overcome.

But for now, she felt pretty damn sure that much more had been gained.


	9. Piece by Piece

A few weeks had passed since the day that changed all their lives. Julian still felt an ache in her ribs when she walked, and an ache in her heart when she thought about her dad. Leia had fondly been gazing at old pictures of her son before she fell asleep each night, wishing she could hold him in her arms again.  During the day, she had been using all her energy talking to star systems all over the galaxy, restoring the Republic piece by piece. 

Poe had been trying to find ways to occupy his time; he wasn’t good at sitting around without any missions to go on. 

Finn had been spending the days trying to figure out what to do with himself as well. He was trying to process a million different feelings. Love for Rey, respect for Poe, but the one that was bothering him was loyalty. He felt a nagging sense of loyalty and he couldn’t figure out who it was to. 

Rey had been doing her best to fit in with her new rebel friends. She had been trying to learn from Julian as much as she could, without overstepping her boundaries, as Julian was clearly grieving. They were all recovering in their own ways, but what none of them knew was that there was still more to come. The worst in fact, was yet to come. 

***

It came three days later. The story of what had happened on the ship regarding Luke, Snoke, and Ben’s death had been kept mostly quiet. Leia had done her best to prevent gossip and rumors that would have tainted any of their names. Many members of the Resistance had left D’Qar, packed up everything and moved to a new planet to start a new life, free of terror. Many more had stayed to help with the rebuilding of the Republic. 

Poe was eating lunch with Finn one day when a rapid chain of events that ended in disaster started. The day seemed normal. Poe was sitting across from his friend, eating and talking while Finn listened. Finn was quiet but Poe kept talking, oblivious to Finn’s subdued behavior. 

“Commander, your presence is requested by General Ematt.” Poe heard someone say. He turned around to see a soldier he didn’t recognize. 

“Right now?” he asked.

“Yes sir.” Poe shrugged and dropped his fork onto his plate. 

“Finn, I’ll catch ya later.” he said to his friend. Finn watched him leave and got up as soon as he was sure Poe was gone. He paced the halls of the base, struggling with the conflict inside of him. Since the day of the attack, he felt like he couldn’t take a deep breath. Something inside of him felt lost when the First Order perished. It was almost like a part of him died. He couldn’t rationalize it or figure out why he felt this way, but he knew it was getting worse. He knew he hated them. He knew the First Order had ruined his life. It felt like slowly but surely, he was being torn apart. He tried to find Rey. She was the only person that brightened his mood. He walked to her quarters and rang the bell, but no one answered. He nervously walked around, scanning for her, but she was nowhere to be found. Probably off training with Julian. Finn felt such an aversion to Julian that he didn’t understand. She’d done nothing to him yet when he looked at her he was filled with anger. Hatred. A need for...revenge? 

What was happening? Why was his mind freaking out? 

Finn slumped against the wall behind him and slid to the floor. He felt more of this unidentifiable anger rising inside of him, so much so that his eyes watered. 

He figured he must be go crazy. There was no other rational explanation for this. Why was he so angry at Julian? Why did he feel such a need for vengeance against her? Why did he suddenly feel a hurt over the loss of Snoke? And Ben? He felt their deaths like one would mourn a family member, not an enemy. Finn felt like his mind was now completely slipping away. He knew he wasn’t being rational. He knew that these visceral feelings of hate were insane. He  _ knew _ that Snoke was evil. That Snoke and Ben were the reasons for his miserable life. And yet, he couldn’t stop the thoughts from coming. 

He couldn’t stop the horrific screaming voice inside of him telling him he needed to act.

He knew he only had one choice.

He had to get his revenge. 

He stood and immediately felt vomit rising in his throat. He lurched to the nearest garbage chute and threw up all the contents of his stomach. He felt like the tiniest slimmer of his sanity was fighting against what he was about to do. But it wasn’t enough to stop him. 

He reached for his holster and felt a blaster securely strapped in. He didn’t know where to look so he started with the bridge. He heard voices as he got closer and he knew he was right to start there. He peered inside before he came into view and saw Ackbar, Leia, Poe, Connix, Julian, Rey, Ematt, Brance and Cypress. He tried to get a better view without exposing himself. He snuck his way into the room and he inched closer, keeping out of sight by staying in the darker area. He failed to see Leia briefly turning her head and noticing him. He kept his eyes locked on Julian and slowly reached for his blaster. She was sitting on a railing a few feet behind Leia. No one was blocking her. It was a perfect shot. He wouldn’t even have to kill anyone else to get to her. He undid the strap and felt the cool metal grip in his hand. He inched the blaster out of the holster until it was free. Julian was lost in thought, her senses at ease and not guarding her. Finn’s hand was shaking so forcefully he couldn’t aim. He felt the last of his morality slipping away, not strong enough to overcome this evil inside of him. He felt like Snoke himself was holding his hand in place, like a demon possessing an innocent soul. He finally steadied his hand and aimed the gun at Julian, still believing he was going unnoticed.

He wasn’t. 

Leia sensed the sudden danger and turned her head the split second before he shot. She stepped in front of her niece’s body and felt the burst of energy from the shot hit her torso in the blink of an eye. 

The next few seconds seemed to move in slow motion. 

Everyone’s heads turned in unison towards Finn and their faces went from relaxed to terrified. Poe, despite his fondness for Finn, immediately jumped into action and tackled his former friend to the ground. He grabbed the blaster and threw it with force away as he pinned Finn’s arm to the ground. 

Julian slid off the railing in time to catch Leia as she fell to the ground. Rey sprinted over to them. The other leaders in the room seemed split on where to go. Ackbar and Connix moved toward Leia and Ematt and Cypress toward Poe. 

“We’ve got him.” they assured Poe, and took over where his hands had been holding Finn. Poe refused to loosen his vice grip on Finn’s arm.

“Poe, we’ve got him.” Ematt told him. Poe was shaking with rage, or maybe terror, he couldn’t tell which. Poe trusted they had him restrained before joining the small crowd forming around Leia. 

“Give her space!” Poe yelled, his voice cracking. Everyone aside from Julian stepped back to let him through. Poe fell to his knees when he saw that Julian was holding Leia’s head in her lap, and it was clear that Leia was dying.

Poe had seen hundreds of people get killed in battle. Maybe thousands. He knew a fatal shot when he saw one. 

“General.” he whispered. He whipped off his jacket and folded it quickly. “Jules.” he said, motioning for her to move her hands. “Jules.” he said again when she didn’t. He gently pulled Julian’s hands away and laid his jacket underneath Leia’s head. 

“Alright, everyone out of this room!” Poe yelled. He didn’t know what he was doing, but he wanted the agonized faces all around him gone. For some reason, they listened. Cypress and Ematt dragged Finn away and everyone else followed them out of the room. 

Poe looked at Julian who was clearly in shock, more so than he had ever seen her. 

“What just happened?” she asked him, finally looking up.    
“I don’t know.” he answered. He looked down at Leia and took one of her hands in his own. 

“General, I’m sorry. I promise you, I will figure this out. I’ll make sure of it. I…” Poe trailed off, his thoughts spiraling into incoherent words. 

“It’s all you now, Poe.” Leia answered. “It’s finally your turn. Make me proud.” Poe felt tears spring into his eyes and stream down his face.    
“I will.” he answered, his voice strained. 

“Whatever comes your way, face it with strength. Trust yourself, even if all of them are doubting you. Fill every unforgiving minute of your time. And Poe, never lose your spark.” He leaned down and gently kissed Leia’s hand. 

“You have my word.” he told her. As he wiped his face he looked at Julian, who was silent. “Jules, she doesn’t have much time. Talk to her.” 

Julian stared at the ground while silent tears rolled down her face and onto the floor.

“Jules.” Poe said, raising his voice a notch. He reached a hand out and pulled up her chin. He looked into her eyes and before she could pull away whispered, “Julian, it’s now or never.” She looked at him a second longer before turning toward Leia. 

“I can’t lose you too.” she finally said. 

“I know it feels that way now, Julian. But you’re the strongest person I know. There is truly nothing you can’t do.” Leia answered. Her voice was weak but her resolve was strong. 

Tears were running down Julian’s face now.

“I can’t imagine a world without you. Please, don’t leave me. Please. Who will guide me now?” she sobbed.

“The force will always guide you home.” Leia answered. It was clear that her strength was draining out of her body.

“How can it?!” Julian cried. “How can the force guide me home when  _ you’ve _ always been my home?! You’re all I have left. Please!” she begged. “Please, don’t go!”

Leia looked at Julian and then looked at Poe. 

“He’s your family. He always has been. This is your home. You have all you need. You may feel lost, but I know you will rise above. You will hold on when it seems like there is nothing left to hold onto. I know you think you won’t. I know you didn’t want this. You deserved better than the life we gave you.”   
“Don’t say that!” Julian interrupted. “You gave me everything. You taught me how to love and hope when everyone else had given up. I know I’m who I am today because of you.”   
“Keep that feeling, Julian. Keep that hope.”

“Leia, please.” Julian cried. “Please don’t leave me.”   
“I have to.” Leia answered with a smile.

“Why?! Stay. Please, stay. Stay with us here.”

“I have to go. My son is on the other side. And I’m ready to see him again. I can die happy knowing your face is the last face I’ll ever see here. I can die at peace knowing the last thing I did was save you, my girl.”

Julian sobbed into her hands. Leia looked back at Poe for a moment.

“You two are my legacy. Take care of each other. And remember, the force will be with you, always.” The last words came out as a whisper as Leia finally let go. As she did, her arm reached out and she turned her head in time to see her son looking back at her from the other side. She felt his hand grab hers and then felt him gently lift her from the ground. She was overwhelmed with a sense of serenity as she became one with the force. She looked down on her body, and watched in anguish at her weeping children. 

But she had to leave her earthly body and join her family on the other side. When she stood, she embraced her son for the first in what felt like forever. His face looked void of pain and his scar was gone.

“I missed you so much.” She told him. She looked into his eyes and she saw everything he couldn’t say. Thousands of apologies and years of insurmountable guilt.

She saw Luke and Han together again. Holding Luke’s hand was his wife, Aria. Leia hadn’t seen her in an unforgivable amount of time. Han approached her slowly, his trademark smirk apparent on his face. He looked youthful again. His gray hair was gone, replaced by his chestnut brown locks. 

“Welcome home.” he said to her. “I’m ready to grow young again with you.”   
He kissed her softly. “I love you.” she told him.

“I know.”

Her brother too, had lost the stress of the last 30 years. The wrinkles that once covered his face were gone, replaced by a twinkle in his eye. 

“I never thanked you for giving Julian what I couldn’t.” he said to her. He looked at Aria. “What  _ we _ couldn’t.”

“I only did exactly what you would’ve done.”

“How can I ever repay you?” Luke asked his sister. Leia looked at her son and her husband, who were engaged in a relaxed conversation. Luke’s eyes followed where she was looking and she softly whispered, “You already did.” 

Leia was overcome with a sense of belonging she hadn’t felt since the moment she stepped on the  _ Falcon _ all those years ago. Together again, and at peace, the family embarked on their next journey. 

***

Poe felt a part of his heart break. He couldn’t stop himself from audibly crying too. He stood and stepped over Leia’s body carefully and knelt down next to Julian. She flung herself into his arms and buried her head into his chest. The two of them cried together, Poe holding Julian tightly as she soaked his shirt with tears. 

Poe knew that his heart broke the moment Leia died, but he knew that something else inside of him turned to steel. His strength. His resolve to carry on Leia’s legacy.

It was his job now to lead. He’d been watching Leia do it for decades and now people would look to him. He knew that despite his current state of emotional fragility, he would have to be strong. He took a deep breath and forced himself to stop crying. He carefully pushed Julian away from him until he could see her face. 

He knew that taking Leia’s role wasn’t just becoming a leader for everyone. It also meant becoming Julian’s leader. And he knew he was ready.

“Hey Jules.” he said.

She looked back at him.

“I know you’re devastated right now. I am too. I just want to tell you something.”   
“What?” she asked apprehensively.

“I will always be here. Okay? I’m not going anywhere.”   
“That seems to be the trend recently. People say that and then they leave.”

“Am I people? I’m me. I’ve  _ never _ lied to you before, have I?”   
“Well…”   
“Well, no. And I won’t start now. We’ll get through this together.”

Maybe Julian really believed him. Or maybe she was just exhausted from the events of life recently. But either way, she nodded and gave him a hug. 

When they parted Poe stood, while Julian stayed put on the ground. 

Poe reached down a hand, which Julian grabbed, and pulled her to stand.

They noticed Rey standing in the doorway, unsure of what to say.

Poe started to speak but Julian stopped him. 

“She’s gone, Rey.” Julian said as she approached her friend.

“I’m sorry.” Rey answered. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened.”   
“Neither do I.” Poe answered. “But I’m going to find out.” Poe saw that Admiral Ackbar and Lieutenant Connix were standing in the hallway and he motioned to them back towards the room. A silent symbol for them to take care of the body. They nodded and Poe moved out of the way so they could enter. “I’m going to the brig to talk to him.” Poe said to Julian and Rey. 

“We’re coming.” Julian answered instantly.

Poe sighed and gave her a questioning look.

“Are you sure? You sure you want to see him?”   
“I have to.”

“Alright. But you’ve gotta hold it together. I want him calm so I can talk to him. Can you stay calm?”

“Yes.”   
“Really? Even though this man just tried to shoot you?”   
“I have to know why.”

Poe nodded. He couldn’t argue with that. The three of them walked in silence to the brig. Poe saw Cypress standing outside and he approached them when they got close.

“What’s the situation?” Poe asked.

“He hasn’t said a word, General.” Poe almost looked behind him when he heard this, like he was expecting Leia to be standing there. He didn’t realize that he Cypress had said it to _ him _ . He was the General now.

“Okay.” Poe stammered, trying to focus. He walked past Cypress and into the brig where he saw Finn sitting against the wall of a cell he was locked into. Finn turned his head briefly and then looked down when he realized who it was.

“Finn.” Poe said, approaching his cell. “Finn, tell me what just happened. Please, give me some explanation as to what the  _ fuck _ you just did.” Poe kept his voice steady, making sure the anger inside of him wasn’t showing.

Finn didn’t even look up.

“Finn, answer me.” Poe said, his voice rising the slightest bit. “Finn!” he finally shouted. He pounded the bars when he said it and Finn jumped at the noise. He finally looked up at Poe. Poe was expecting a blank expression but his face was filled with pain. 

“Why? Why did you do it?” Poe practically whispered. Finn looked Poe dead in the eyes as he answered.

“I couldn’t stop myself. Poe, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. It’s like I wasn’t controlling my own body.”

“What do you mean?”   
“I don’t know. Something came over and all the sudden I was stuck in autopilot. I swear, Poe, you gotta believe me.”

“Bullshit!” Julian yelled from where she was standing. Poe held up a hand to silence her and kept his eyes locked on Finn.

“Finn. I want to believe you. I want to understand. I need you to go deeper. Tell me what you were feeling.”

“I...I don’t...there’s no easy way to say this. I felt like…” Finn trailed off.

“Felt like what?” Poe asked.

“I felt like I needed to get revenge. For the First Order.”   
Before Poe could react, Julian jumped at the cell bars and reached a hand in to hit Finn.

“You piece of shit!” she yelled. Poe somehow managed to keep his cool as he grabbed Julian and pulled her away from the cell. He calmly held her back with one arm.

“Stop.” he said plainly to her. He turned back to Finn. “Go on.”

“I know it sounds horrible, Poe. I feel so bad. I feel like my instincts turned against me. The second I did it it was gone. I don’t know why or how it happened. Poe, please, you gotta believe me.”

Poe looked at him for a long minute before answering, “Fuck. Off. I can’t even look at you right now.” He shook his head in disgust and stood up. He kept a firm arm blocking Julian and ushered her and Rey out of the room.

“Poe!” Finn called. “Rey! Please, listen to me!”

Rey hesitated for a second but kept moving when she saw the look on Poe’s face. 

***

Days later, Julian was standing in front of the mirror in her room getting ready for Leia’s funeral. She had been attempting to put her hair into an Alderaanian Mourning Braid for the last half hour. Usually Leia did her hair for her and without her there, she felt lost. She threw down another clip in frustration as her hair fell uselessly down her face. She was interrupted by a knock on the door and she saw Rey standing outside. 

“Hey.” Julian said quietly. 

“Hi. How are you doing?” Rey asked hesitantly, slowing making her way into the room.

“I’m okay. Just having some trouble with my hair.”   
“Can I help? I don’t know much but I’m pretty good with that.”   
“Yeah.” Julian nodded. “Sure.” Julian explained the type of braid and Rey tried to do it on herself. She tried it a few times without success before sighing and letting go of her hair.

“This is tricky.” Rey said. “Maybe it’ll be easier if I try it on you.” She reached for Julian’s hair and got about halfway before it slipped down. 

They both sat down on the bed in frustration. Rey wasn’t sure what to say and Julian was trying to think of a different way to do it. Julian got so lost in thought she didn’t hear Rey say goodbye and leave. She absentmindedly stood in front of the mirror and reached for her hair. She felt hands guiding her hair until finally, the braid was done and it stayed in place.

“Oh, thanks Rey! You got it!” Julian said, but she didn’t hear an answer. She turned around in confusion but Rey was nowhere in sight. She turned back and saw something out of the corner of her eye, reflected in the mirror. 

When she looked at her reflection, her heart dropped. She saw an ethereal vision of Leia and her mom standing behind her. She shut her eyes hard, certain she was hallucinating. When she opened them, the apparitions were still there. Leia had a hand on Julian’s left shoulder and her mother a hand on her right shoulder. Julian was stunned into silence. Her mother leaned down and kissed her head softly. Leia reached out and put a reassuring hand on the braid in Julian’s hair before giving her a smile. As soon as as they had come, they disappeared. Julian thought she would start crying, but she felt strangely at peace. She couldn’t call it closure, not yet, but it was an improvement from the emotional wreck she had been for the last few days. Now, she was ready to say goodbye for the last time. 

***

When Julian arrived at the funeral, she felt her stomach lurch as soon as she saw the coffin. She slowly made her way to the front of the room and took an aisle seat in the front row. She couldn’t take her eyes away from the flowers covering her aunt’s coffin. She looked back and forth between the portraits and flowers placed everywhere on the altar. She faintly heard other people filling in behind her. She realized she didn’t actually hear anyone talking, and she turned around she realized all of them had left a comfortable distance. She knew the first two rows were always reserved for family, and in a heart sinking moment, she looked to her right and realized the entire row was empty. 

Empty chairs at empty tables.

There was no one left to fill those first two rows. 

Silent tears rolled down her face and she quietly sobbed, not that anyone was close enough to hear her. She looked back and forth between the coffin and the empty seats around her. 

“Forgive me.” she whispered. “Leia. Dad. Mom. Han. Ben. I’m so sorry that I‘m alive while the rest of you are gone.” 

She didn’t know who she was talking to, she just prayed that any one of them could hear her somehow. 

Poe approached Julian slowly. He could see that she was crying. He took a deep breath as he sat down next to her. 

“Leia would have loved those flowers. They’re very regal. Graceful, even. Just like her.” 

Julian looked up in confusion. 

“What? Yeah, she would’ve.” she answered, her voice void of emotion. Poe sighed. He kept talking to her but at this point she was so closed off that she only heard the sound of his voice, not what he was saying. She felt his arm resting on her shoulder. He held her and didn’t let go until it was time to leave. They were the last two in the room. Long after everyone had left and the coffin was carried out, Julian stayed where she was and stared straight ahead.

Numb. 

Poe didn’t know what to do other than keep talking. Finally, he slumped back in his chair and gave a last ditch attempt.

“I think we should go get a drink.” he said. He didn’t wait for Julian to answer. He stood and pulled her up by the arm. “Come on. Let’s go.” 

Julian was still silent but she walked with Poe out of the church. She didn’t pay attention much as he drove them back to base. He parked near the dock and Julian noticed that the sunset on the water looked stunning. 

They got out and Poe started to head toward the pond but Julian stopped him.

“I gotta do something first.” Julian turned around and started heading toward the  _ Falcon. _ Poe followed her onboard and watched a beautiful scene unfold. Julian pulled Leia’s necklace out of her pocket. The necklace she had worn around her neck that held her wedding ring. Julian carefully hung it over Han’s dice. Together for eternity. She looked at it for a second and then turned around.

“Okay.” she said to Poe. 

He gave her an understanding smile and they left the ship side by side. 

They made their way over to the dock and took a seat at the edge. Julian pulled off her shoes and put them down next to her before splashing her feet into the water. 

“Poe?” she asked quietly.

“Yeah?”

Julian kicked the water a few more times before asking her question. 

“What if I can’t remember what their voices sound like?”   
“What?”   
“Well, my mom died so long ago that I don’t remember the sound of her voice. Is that going to happen with the rest of them?” 

Poe looked out at the water. 

“I don’t think so. But if it does, it doesn’t mean you’ll forget them. You haven’t forgotten what your mom was like, right? You’ll never forget them. Jules, I’ve seen a lot of people die. A lot of people have left us, and I’ve learned one thing for certain: no one’s ever really gone.” 

Poe handed her a drink and raised his own.    
“A toast.” he declared. 

“To?”   
“To freedom. To sacrifice. To the lives lost. To the life that used to be and the life we have now. To all the glorious failures and the glorious victories.” 

Julian looked closely at Poe. Despite all the pain he’d endured, he was still smiling. He always was. The pink light of the sunset was shining on his face and he looked almost otherworldly. He was the only person who had been through as much unimaginable tragedy as she had. 

“Cheers, Poe.” she finally said. Their glasses clinked and they both sipped their drinks and looked out at the sunset. 

Regardless of whatever was to come, they both knew the sun would always rise. 


	10. Epilogue

“Grief is like the ocean. Ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.”

 

 

In the two years that had passed since the fall of the First Order, Poe and Julian had created new lives. They had stuck around the base for a few months until everyone had left. Poe knew he had to be the last one there.

Coruscant had actually rebooted pretty quickly. With no threat of evil looming over them, the remaining members of the Republic had reassembled and instantly started to work tirelessly to restore order to the galaxy. 

Poe had gotten a job as Lead Pilot at the Flight Academy on Coruscant. He oversaw the Republic’s flight training and he still occasionally got to do some flying himself. BB-8 was always at his side. Training kids to be pilots was almost enough to fill the ache in his heart.

Julian had entered The Academy and was studying to become a healer. She knew she could use her jedi powers for something good. That’s what she told Poe, at least. Deep down, it was the  feeling of regret from not being able to save her family that drove her to it. 

On Coruscant, Poe and Julian lived together in a high rise apartment downtown, close to the Senate building. Looking in from the outside, they could’ve been two regular people. The trauma they’d been through didn’t show on the outside. 

The first few months of their lives on Coruscant had been  _ rough _ . 

On the very first night that they were in their apartment, Poe awoke to the sound of Julian screaming. He jumped out of bed and ran into her room instantly, expecting to see something or someone trying to kill her. He quickly realized she was fast asleep and her screams were coming from a nightmare. He felt a brief sense of relief before the worry returned and he rushed up to her. She was screaming and thrashing like a maniac and he yelled her name several times to try to wake her up. It didn’t work. He held her arms down until she stopped thrashing and repeated her name until she finally went limp. Her eyes opened slowly and she started crying and shaking. He knelt on the bed next to her and held her shaking body in his arms.

“It’s okay, Jules.” he comforted. “It’s okay. It was just a dream. It’s okay.” He sat there for at least half an hour, gently rocking her until she calmed down. She was only half awake and when she finally laid back down he got up to leave. As soon as he did, Julian grabbed his arm.

“Please stay.” she whispered. It was a quiet plea, almost barely audible, but Poe immediately sat back down and laid next to her. He put an arm around her and she curled up against him. 

That was the first and last night they tried to sleep in separate rooms. After that, they usually fell asleep on the couch watching TV together. Sometimes they would sleep in one of their rooms but without the background noise there was too much quiet weighing down their thoughts.

Neither of them had any idea how to live like “regular people.” Poe felt restless. He didn’t like staying in the same place too long. He felt trapped at first, like he was stuck on this planet and he had to get off of it. He’d lived too many years on the run from the First Order. It was embedded in him to constantly be moving around, or at least to be going out on missions. 

Julian had plenty of her own struggles to face as well. She was constantly breaking down from grief but she would keep it from Poe. She would wait until he was at work and then lie on the ground crying for hours. She felt like there was simply too much pain to process. If she ever managed to stop thinking about her dad, she would think about her aunt or her uncle. She didn’t know how she would ever stop thinking about them. 

She hid all of this from Poe for a while. She focused her time on school and studying and deceived him into thinking she was doing well. But she could only keep it from him for so long. 

One day after Julian got home from class she headed out to the balcony to cry. She knew she had a solid two hours before Poe got back so she took a seat and watched the busy city in front of her. The tears quickly started falling down her face. The balcony looked out on the larger part of downtown so it was noisy enough for her to not hear the door opening inside. 

“Jules!” Poe called from inside. “Are you here? I got done early.” He walked around the apartment and assumed she was still at school since he didn’t see her. He was about to take a seat on the couch before he glanced at the balcony and saw her sitting out there. He waved the door open and walked outside to greet her.

“Hey Jules.” he called. She jumped at the sound of his voice.   When she turned around, Poe realized she was crying. He rushed towards her and his face quickly turned to one of concern. 

“What’s wrong?!” he asked. He crouched next to her chair and put a hand on her back. 

She wiped her eyes and looked back at him.   
“Nothing. It’s nothing.” she answered.   
“What? What is it, Jules? Tell me.”

“It’s fine, Poe. It’s nothing.”   
“Julian. Talk to me.”

Julian was so used to him calling her Jules that she was taken aback. No one had called her by her full name in nearly two years. In fact, she had gone by Jules to everyone she’d met on Coruscant. Hearing her full name triggered her last memory of Leia and she started to cry harder. 

Poe looked around helplessly as Julian sobbed into her hands.

“Jules, please tell me what’s wrong!” he begged. 

She took a few shaky breaths before she answered him. 

“I can’t do this anymore, Poe.” she said.

“What? You can’t do what?” 

“Any of this!”   
“Back up. Start from the beginning.” he said gently.

She shook her head and sighed. “Poe, every day when I get home from school, I come out here and cry. I can’t pull myself together. I don’t know what’s wrong with me! I keep thinking I’ll feel better but I break down every single day.” Poe’s face changed from concern to hurt when she said this. 

“Jules, why didn’t you tell me?” he asked. “I didn’t know you were suffering so much. I thought...I don’t know what I thought. But I-”

“No, Poe, don’t say that. I didn’t want you to be worried or anything. But I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know how to feel normal again.” 

“Okay, first of all, there is  _ nothing _ wrong with you. Absolutely nothing.” Poe tried to summon Leia’s wisdom before he continued. He knew she would have the perfect thing to say. “Jules, I don’t know if there’s ever a way to feel normal again. No one should have to go through what you went through.”   
“What  _ we _ went through.” she interrupted. 

“Okay. What we went through. I don’t feel normal either. Everything that we knew was taken from us. I think we just have to find a way to build a new normal. I just wish you would’ve told me. I wish I could have been helping you.”   
“I miss them so much, Poe.”

“I know. Sometimes when I’m at work and people are waiting on me to make a decision, it hurts the most. I was so used to looking to Leia for answers. It’s so weird that people look to me now.”   
“Wow. I didn’t even think about that. You served under her for so long.”   
“Almost five years.”

“Is it ever going to get easier?” Julian asked him. Poe wished more than ever that he knew the right thing to say. 

“Of course it will, Jules. I promise you. You know that my mom died when I was eight, right?”   
Julian nodded.

“I thought the world was ending when it happened. I never thought I would be able to stop crying. But with time, I did. It got easier. Months went by and it started to hurt less. You’ll never stop missing them, Jules. But that doesn’t mean you’ll be hurting this much forever. Slowly, it’ll start to fade. You’ll think about them and that sharp pain will become duller and duller. Something that you see will remind you of them and you’ll be able to smile at it instead of cry. I don’t know how long it will take. But I know it will get better.”   
Julian stood up from her chair and Poe stood up with her in confusion. She looked at him for a second before she embraced him lovingly. 

“I don’t thank you enough, Poe. Thank you for taking care of me.”   
Poe held her tightly and fought back a tear.

“You’re my whole world, Jules. I’ll always be here for you.”   
“I love you so much. I couldn’t do any of this without you.”   
“The feeling’s mutual. Just promise me one thing.”   
“What?”   
“Don’t hide this from me anymore. Any of it, okay? Let me help you.”   
“I promise.” 

  
  


Their lives got more normal from there on out.    
Poe was right about grief getting easier. She never went a day without thinking about her family, but she started to remember them in less painful way. She would get nostalgic about her youth from time to time, but most of the time she was able to laugh or smile when she remembered something Han had said. She would think about her dad when she was working. She knew he would have loved that she was becoming a healer. She hoped he would’ve been proud, even. 

She tried to think about Leia the least. The memories of her aunt’s death seemed to haunt her the most. Perhaps it was because so much of her personality was made up of things Leia had taught her. 

Whenever Julian couldn’t sleep, she would lie on the balcony and look at the stars. It was hard to see them sometimes because of the pollution from the city, but she swore that every once in a while, she could feel Leia’s presence dancing amongst them.  

It’s true what her dad had told her all those years ago when her mom had died.

No one’s ever really gone. 


End file.
